Tuesday, June 18, 2024

The Beale Ciphers

 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beale_ciphers

Long before The DaVinci Code, National Treasure and Indiana Jones had gematria fans realizing picking between binary options made something resembling real decoding wasn’t for them, there were the Beale Ciphers.  For starters, there was no self proclaimed expert on YouTube to walk them through the scavenger hunt.  

Gematria decoding requires a lot of ignoring incorrect results along the way.  You start by not picking anything at the start of the season.  Let’s call it the upcoming NFL season since NOBODY, even the top names pretending they can pick NFL championships are saying anything about it now.  Then you keep the new group of gullible morons focused on chasing riddles, being sure to use the lingo talking about riddles, deciphering, rituals, etc….  Keep them chasing riddle after riddle with no real answer except that it’s ok to be wrong.  The next riddle is outside of gematria.  Who are the preseason favorites.  It doesn’t matter if they end up sucking ass, it’s time to start the Nostradamus vague hints act.  The next riddle is who got off to a fast start.  More Nostradamus posturing and start mentioning those teams more.  The next riddle is who actually made the playoffs.  Now you have to pretend you picked all the playoffs team all along.  In reality, by this step NOBODY has picked the entire slate of playoff teams with gematria.  But it’s still ok to be wrong.  Then there’s the riddle of the Super Bowl.  And by dumb luck somebody will have maybe picked the champ at the start of the season since it’s now relatively speaking a coin flip.

The Beale Cipher scavenger hunt operates the same as the movie plots at the start of the post.  Even though mistakes were made in regards to the version of the Declaration used there was an actual correct answer.  A correct answer that was more than NOT BEING WRONG.  There’s no gimmes, take backs, mulligans or pressing the reset button.  There is a convoluted but definitive correct answer, like the future Super Bowl champ or a treasure of precious metals and jewels.  Of course I’m skeptical that the original Beale treasure actually existed.

There are 18 regular season weeks and 4 playoff weeks in an NFL season, at the $11 tier that’s $242 to find out that your first pick was wrong.  Just picking the Super Bowl winner right was not the discovery of the treasure, the actual proper prediction would have been decoding every single riddle along the way, impossible with the goalposts for success being moved.  The Beale work relies on the treasure being completely fictional for whatever reason the likely hoax was designed.  The gematria football decode relies on the belief that somehow after 22 weeks which absolutely must determine a single winner that you were right all along after a single post game decode, taking what tiny little two digit numbers that mathematically must be present as justification for not being able to decode any of the earlier riddles with 100% accuracy.  

If you’re thinking of joining a sports betting gematria Patreon, especially considering the new price tags, NOW is the appropriate time to badger your self proclaimed cult leader for the NFL championship pick.  And as soon as they say, “It doesn’t work that way” it’s time for the follow up question.  “Exactly how does it work then?”  You’ll be labeled as a hater and a troll, but at least you’ll be a hater and troll on the road to becoming more scam proof and save yourself a couple hundred bucks along the way.

It’s worth mentioning that some research went in to debunking the Beale Ciphers.  I find it highly appropriate that linguistically it’s dubious on wording that didn’t exist at the alleged time it was created.  That’s a very gematria thing to do.  Make stuff up after the fact with letters and numbers.


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