It may help if you have had the misfortune of viewing Attack of the Killer Donuts for this. You don't need to, but understand this is a real movie. I give it about a five on a 1-10 scale, so realize first off that your mathematical reference point is based on that instead of 0-10. In case you rate movies with Vortex Math. Most people, I imagine this translates into a solid 2 on 1-10, it is a comedy and not a terribly funny one at that.
So our intrepid band of heroes is stuck in an actual zombie apocalypse. The whole deal, the rotting flesh, eating people, have to disable the brain to stop them. These are the slow moving variety.
After a lull in the action of stabbing zombies through the eye socket with ice picks and splintered boards and whatever makeshift weapons are available, as well as expending far too much of their precious irreplaceable ammo supply, the band decides to powwow on what they know about zombies. Much like the scene in From Dusk Til Dawn where those intrepid band members discuss vampires.
Rock Grimy, who believes that 9/11 was proven a conspiracy because jet fuel doesn't burn hot enough to melt steel, thinks these are like the zombies in the Walking Dead or George Romero movies. Most everything that's happened so far points to this. So some consensus is reached because Rock is obviously the leader. If you have a name like Rock you obviously are a studly leader type. You don't find somebody named Myron Jones lasting long in a zombie apocalypse.
In addition to the basic facts already related, they do agree that they don't understand how this can be happening. The science of zombie existence is all fucked up. There's no way to tell exactly how much of the zombie brain needs to be turned into zombie brain mush to disable them. Why do they eat if they don't get nutrition, or even have stomachs? How much flesh falls off from the being a rotting corpse thing before they stop moving? You don't see any reanimated skeletons rattling about. Other such tidbits show they don't understand what's going on.
Ferd, who thinks 9/11 was a conspiracy because the planes were holograms and buildings were destroyed by planted explosives, thinks that there's some good points to be made from the 28 Days Later zombies. Notably, those were definitely some kind of medical reason like an airborne pathogen generated zombies.
Rock proceeds to tell Ferd he's a moron because these are obviously slow zombies and in the Walking Dead canon the pathogen thing is touched on. Ferd counters with how the Walking Dead zombies still heavily rely on biting to zombify more people.
Lots of others start chiming in on the merits of what movies have some possible meaning to the situation. Everything from the disease angle in the mutants in Omega Man, voodoo ritual zombies, the poison gas in Return of the Living Dead, ad nauseam. All these people by a remarkable plot device have differing opinions on the 9/11 story. The only commonality to 9/11 is that they clearly don't understand what happened.
Now, up to this point we haven't talked about semi-randomly picked designated hot babe who can kick ass, Karen Gillan. Who by another remarkable plot device looks exactly like actress Karen Gillan and can do karate like her in Jumanji. She's the only one that thinks 9/11 wasn't a conspiracy, and she points out that none of this debate helps a bit regarding survival in this situation that all agree they don't understand fully. But she's willing to accept what actual information they do know, gleaned from practical observation, on what works. Whack 'em in the head. Find food, ammo, and other supplies. Just keep surviving. Hopefully if any of these morons wises up she'll consider helping repopulating the planet with him, but later. Much longer than 28 days later.
Now, Puck, who believes in gematria, chimes in about how Attack of the Killer Donuts proves that reanimated donuts could exist.
In perfect unison, everyone else says,
"Dude. They're fucking DONUTS."
Puck continues to explain that some kind of donut animating serum could have animated donuts.
"Dude...they're fucking DONUTS."
Puck brings up that the donuts had teeth, so when animated they could be quite dangerous.
"Dude. Shut the fuck up. They're FUCKING DONUTS!!"
As if on cue, the zombies, totally fed up with being ignored as the immediate problem, bust down the door and slaughter everyone except Karen who gave up as soon as Puck opened his mouth the first time. She high tailed it out of there, found another group that accepted the tragic situation for what it was and had 33 babies.
If there's any moral to this story it can be found in the dying words of Rock who pointed out to Ferd that these were like the zombies in Land of the Dead that started to learn. They did, after all, wait until things got totally out of hand before breaking down the door. Fortunately they were not the Return of the Living Dead zombies who feasted on brains, or they would have starved, here.
And that Puck died never realizing the holes in his donut theory.
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