Sunday, July 16, 2017

Fidget Spinners Are Satanic

In my looking for stupid comment travels I had a video show up in my radar about fidget spinners being the work of our good friend, the mighty Lucifer. I can understand this. I've never seen one live and in person. But from what I've heard they can be extremely annoying to bystanders. Jennifer Tilly's voice for a full movie kind of annoying. But when I see that Gematria proves it.....let's just say I'm a bit skeptical.


At first I was tempted to disregard the topic in its entirety. Some rebel Jennifer Tilly stalker trying to stir up trouble or such. But in my never ending quest for knowledge (and potential application to the Jenna Coleman game) I started digging into this.


To begin with. Search engines - As soon as you type in "Fidget Spinners Are S-" autocomplete immediately recommends satanic. Perhaps there is more to this. Get the kids while they are young and impressionable.


I now have some videos to choose from. Here's one less than 3 minutes. Good. I don't want Satan to catch me checking up on him. And, I also did a calculation ahead of time and was really just confirming my suspicions. FIDGET = 111 in Reverse Ordinal. Well there's your problem.


Mathematically everything that equals 111 in ordinal = 666 in Sumerian/English (depending on which version of the devil you are invoking). When you get 111 in Reverse Ordinal you end up with 306 in Sumerian/English. But whatever. Perhaps it's reverse Sumerian/English worshipping the antiantichrist, the lived, Natas, or my personal favorite, Reficul because it sounds like one of those drugs that has more side effects than benefits.


Isn't the problem just the name? Sure they throw some design symbolism in the mix and show fancier ones that look like a ninja throwing star with tattoos. But it's the name FIDGET without SPINNERS that's the lead in to 111. What if they named them "Busy Spinners?" Or Annoying As Fuck Spinners? Or Tilly Spinners? Would Satan care anymore? Would Jennifer miss out on her Chucky movie role which certainly had Satanic overtones to the plot? How deeply does the Dark Lord care about this?


It doesn't seem to be the toy itself. When I was young we had "clackers". Two glass balls attached together with string. They also looked like a ninja weapon and made Jennifer Tilly's voice seem downright soothing in comparison. If they were called "fidget balls" the Dark One would be pleased and we'd have no need for the spinners. When I got older there was a Nerf boomerang that was roughly the same shape. Did Satan appreciate the symbolism but since Jennifer had no movie career he didn't instruct his minions to call them Nerf Fidgets?


And don't forget, if Reverse Ordinal hadn't been discovered recently we might not even know about this. Children would be tucked in bed, sleeping with their precious clacking, spinning or foaming toy from hell while it whispers quietly in their ear - "Worship Me. Kill your parents. The NBA is rigged. Lust for Jennifer Tilly. Ask for a pony for your birthday." Or whatever a dark one whispers to children.


Six months ago I would have thought that Satanic Toys (other than in Full Moon Entertainment movies) would be the nuttiest concept I'd ever hear in the gematriverse. Now I'm not so sure. But I do have some parental advice. Not in regards to the toys. Pray your children are at best mediocre in every aspect. Because GIFTED is an anagram for FIDGET.

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