Thursday, July 4, 2024

Independence Day 3 Pitch Meeting


Did you watch Independence Day: Resurgence?  It kind of sucked, didn’t it?  Although it had the requisite amount of non plot movie necessities, more commonly known as Shit Blowing Up with CGI, it didn’t deliver on plot.  Hollywood has never been a place to back down on delivering shit blowing up to make money at the cost of intellectual artistic expression, so the idea of a third movie is always on the table.  And what else do we know about sequels, especially those in long running franchises?  They don’t need to have anything to do with the plot of the original and if Nicolas Cage or Samuel L. Jackson is available you’ve got at least one recognizable name in the cast who will give their all in their performance.

If I got to pitch my idea for Independence Day 3 it would go something like this.

People complained about the deus ex machina of the highly unlikely idea that humans cracked the computer programming of the aliens in such a short time to create a virus that disabled all the alien machines.  Turnabout is fair play, so some surviving aliens tucked away in their escape pod headed back to a friendly planet created a virus in return as a parting gift to the Earthlings.  Self replicating artificial intelligence.

They learned lots of useful stuff about human psychology by studying us before the first movie’s invasion.  We actually like shit blowing up so much we don’t really care when it happens to ourselves.  We like stupid shit above quality.  And we like money.  We like money a lot.  Money is probably the only thing we don’t like to see get blown up.

One of the facets of AI that doesn’t get talked about too much is how neural nets get turned loose on information and chug along to replicate thinking.   Shown enough pictures of cats labeled as cats with enough pictures of things that aren’t cats as being not cats they eventually get the gist of it.  But what if the net is trained on bad info at the start?  Like if it accidentally gets turned loose on gematria sports decoders ideas of what cats are?  Chaos.

That’s how we find out about the little present the retreating aliens left behind.  The AI isn’t thwarted totally, but undergoes growing pains from a temporary though obvious oopsie that catches the attention of Nic Cage or SLJ.  Whichever one that works best with a Jeff Goldblum cameo and someone who’s vaguely similar to Will Smith in appearance that could be an imperfect clone for the subplot.

The problem with humans is they can’t make up their minds whether they want to vote for a fascist dictatorship or have some semblance of compromise and progress.  So, the alien AI neural net got confused by all the misinformation and started to believe a significant amount of bad info was good info.  And now it’s building to the climax…recognition that gematria, flat earth, moon landing hoax, etc… internet sites is bad information.  The opposite ideas of those sites is good information.  And the final physical form the AI takes looks like a cross between the original alien form from the first movie, Alex Jones and an AR-15.  And it can’t be stopped since its grasp of good info versus bad info is supercharged.  Unless, like all good sequels (that are really bad but you don’t know it until the end when it’s too late to get your money back) you steal the plot of the original movie that got the franchise rolling.  A form of a virus that stops the AI from assimilating new and more current info.  Something repetitively contradictory to the data set


The password protected super important current information.  With two factor verification that you need to pay for the membership.  The only people that can get the allegedly super important and supposedly free info to enlighten the masses are the ones who pay for the free information.  A contradiction of mind numbing proportions.

Have you ever seen AI cry?  Get ready for the ending as it melts away in a cascade of tears, the misinformation peddlers are hailed as heroes even though the Will Smith clone throws a pie in the face of the Gematrinator.

“What are you complaining about?  The pie was free!  Muahahahahaha!!!!”

THE END.

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What started as some lulz and a couple of bucks seems to have gone sideways.  More and more misinformation content is getting locked down behind paywalls and passwords.  The so called trolls are causing some psychic damage with the relentless counterattacks.  The group of people that wants Independence Day to mean freedom from their rights being affected by others that think their rights supersede all others isn’t necessarily growing, but more fed up and vocal.  Because things are really bad out there right now with the polarization and lack of compromise.  The education system is a wreck.  The justice system is a wreck.  The electoral system is a wreck.  And you probably shouldn’t be reading this right now.  I’ll work on password protection next year if we’re all still not blown up.

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