Tuesday, July 2, 2024

Bicycles - Why I Don’t Trust Doomsday Preppers

 No bikes trope

It makes some sense regarding it as a natural progression.  When one spends too much time surfing the content net for grifting activity you find a lot of interesting characters.  Some of the content is so bizarre it’s next to impossible not to regard it as if you are involved in a bad movie about a world gone mad.

A fictional dystopian future has a high chance of focusing on a lack of speedy transportation.   It’s the reverse of technological advancement.  The top bananas in the world are the ones that have the technology of speed and distance.  Cavalry faster than foot soldiers.  Arrows and spears beyond arm’s length better than foot soldiers.  Tanks better than cavalry.  Machine guns better than cavalry.  Planes better than tanks, laughing at them as they bomb them from above.  Missles better than planes not needing to worry about inserting a human in the cockpit.  In reverse order, for whatever the movie reason is written in, there’s zero chance of missiles other than an evil villain that needs to be stopped.  Maybe a crude glider plane is possible, but no gas so not too fancy.  Some precious remaining supplies of fuel get rationed out and cars, Daryl on his motorcycle and some bad ass might get a tank.  Horsies, sure.

And then we just skip over the perfectly logical choice of bicycles and have the characters walking, rucksacks and backpacks loaded with some important future plot points.

Considering that cognitive biases are involved in who I check into it’s somewhat understandable that bicycles are missing.  The preppers are like the homeless people near my workplace.  Tapping away on their cell phone while sitting there with their magic marker inked cardboard “Desperate and Homeless” sign.  Taking for granted that there will always be an infinite supply of gas and electricity and people with real jobs to throw a few shekels their way.

The angry preppers I’ve seen have a high correlation with “surviving being homeless” content.  Friendly tips for getting back on your feet after disaster has struck.  And in non Internet life I see more and more bicyclists as car insurance is just way too expensive  - as well as unreliable if it’s actually going to operate the way it’s marketed.  Your prepper rations will expire.  Your guns will run out of ammo.  Shouldn’t there be at least some more content about bikes and bike repair and maintenance out there?

I hold Alex Jones and his ilk responsible.  “They're coming to take our guns” is a far more catchy battle cry than a sensible evil empire motivation of “They’re coming to take our bikes”.  And since they operate in a world of fiction like gematria conspiracies they’re end of the world ideas are skewed towards what they know about fictional dystopia instead of real life 100 degree climate change heat and gasoline running out far sooner than they dare to admit.

This is not all subjective opinions.  I genuinely have crossed over into seeing a significant amount of angry prepper content.  As far as weapons go it’s simple bladed weapons like you’re expected to have a home forge and skill to operate and guns.  Lots of guns.  Nobody ever speaks up in the comments and talks about how it might be a good idea to have some bike knowledge instead of walking for hours to the destination.  The invention of the wheel holds a deserved spot in history, and the ubiquity of the bicycle in real life now proves its practical value.  But the fictional world of the prepper makes it too uncool.  Too comical, nerdy and beta male “Charlton Heston would hate me for being such a sissy.”

Don’t get me wrong, I know that scant resources would also make building new bikes a challenge, but isn’t it easier to just salvage key parts from all the existing bikes now?  And shouldn’t our grifter friends be encouraging more and more bike stories to get everyone talking about nothing but bikes and how the cabal wants to hoard the market on bikes.  The NWO, the New Wheeled Order?  Do I need to edit my old Zombies, Gematria and Donuts post to get the ball rolling on this?  Wheel…er…Well, the newcomers to the conspiracy Hoaxer world don’t have a reference point for sensible, practical end of the world as we know it solutions as simulations ignore the impact of frivolity like gematria.

It’s correct to accuse those that are targets of grift to be guilty of lacking thinking about the long term.  The worst grifters are the ones that PRETEND to be thinking long term.  Like being prepped for doomsday.  Offering totally impractical solutions like generators with no gasoline to run them and supplements which are supplements at best, not a substitute for actual food.  And they focus the targets on how they must act today to get these impractical solutions.  Now go out there and buy some bicycle replacement parts NOW.

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