Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Part One -Nancy Drool And The Tomb Of The Encryptkeeper

As usual our heroines, Nancy Drool, Dog Detective Extraordinaire Super Deluxe and overall nice gal, and Bobbi Ever Insouciant and Precocious Boxer had been playing strip Scrabble. Fortunately, they stumbled on the game by accident. Bobbi had a bad experience with strip Trivial Pursuit. Unlike the Scrabble version, named for strip malls, the Trivial Pursuit version was named in the traditional fashion. Answer a question correctly, your opponent removes an article of clothing. The bad experience that soured Bobbi forever?


She found out her grandmother was cheating. Eeww.


"Speaking of my grandmother...", Bobbi said. And was interrupted by Nancy who pointed out that she hadn't said a word about her. "Well, it was written in the script that I would be speaking about her. It was figurative. Or metaphorical. Which is what I was thinking about saying. How does one become so invested in something so icky, so wrong as to not just play strip Trivial Pursuit, but to decide to cheat at it?"


"Well, Bobbi my dear friend, it's hard to say. Lots of people don't just jump straight in. There's a gradient. You don't hear the Xenu story in Scientology until you've invested a lot of money and time, and they figure you are so brainwashed that you will just take their word for anything. Or your a raging douchetard like Tom Cruise, then you drink the Cocktail, enter the Risky Business, go in with Top Guns blazing and don't consider about what happens the Day After Tomorrow."


"That was Dennis Quaid! You mean Edge of Tomorrow!"


Nancy grunted, "You know, you're right. Touche! But if I hadn't capitalized the titles, would you have known it was a Tom Cruise movie."


"Oh yeah, I live my life keeping Tom in perspective. I don't want to end up like that!"


Nancy thought a bit. "Let's take the example of Doug Henning, the magician. Doug "found" transcendental meditation. Without pointing a finger on whether TM is beneficial or not, he turned his life over to it. When diagnosed with liver cancer, he forewent any alternative treatment. The thought of even TRYING conventional medical treatment was dismissed. He died young."


Bobbi replied, "Well, at least there's no gematria tie in there. It's about time we tackled a case that didn't involve that."


Nancy leaned over and whispered. "You are just as wrong about that as you are right about the Dennis Quaid movie. Ignoring all the subtleties of written language, communication with numbers only can be hazardous. There's only the Francis Bacon elisions in gematria to differentiate capital letters. If the script hadn't been written in capitals, you wouldn't have as easy a time figuring that out. Get your things, we're going to look for the Tomb of The Encryptkeeper. Then I can get the Inspector off my back about putting that off."


Bobbi gleamed, "Goodie! Where do we start?
"With the most necessary of things!"
"The Adult dog store?"
"No, dummy. Food. We're going to the grocery store."


There was a bit of a fight in the car concerning Nancy's choice to call Bobbi a dummy. The determined to kiss and make up. So they did stop at the Adult dog store. Because it was next to the drug store which sold Hershey Kisses and Maybelline products.


The curator from the museum was pushing carts into the grocery store. Nancy groaned, knowing what was about to come up.


"And what are YOU doing here?"
"I'm writing my book."
"Oh, really?"
"Well, no, actually I'm editing it."
"So, it's finished?"
"No."


Nancy told Bobbi, "That's about the halfway point of this case, end Part 1."

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