The Gematria Toy Hall Of Fame

Not many people are aware of this, but here Lucy Furcertain and the rest of the staff keep our fingers on the pulse of all gematria matters. Recently the regular Toy Hall of Fame made their picks for what toys would be joining the likes of Fischer Price Little People, Barbie and Chess in the exalted ranks of officially inducted toys.


One noteworthy nominee that was not voted in was The Magic Eight Ball. Which begs the question, "Just the same as gematria claims to have predictive abilities, did it KNOW it wasn't going to be voted in?" It's also interesting that Clue was inducted, but nominee and fellow board game Risk was not. So, although the regular Toy Hall of Fame is no longer Clueless, they haven't taken any Risks.


To keep everyone up to speed about the seedy underworld of the gematria hall of fame we are proud to report the following toys and games that have been added to the Gematria Toy Hall of Fame over the years.


Stretch Amwrong
The bastard cousin of Stretch Armstrong. Probably would have been a more popular toy if the phrases spoken when you pulled the nylon cord didn't always stretch the truth.


Fact Checkers
An empty checkerboard.


Fischer Price Little Dead Celebrities
This really took off after the introduction of the Baphomet Sacrificial Playset, painted in striking detail with genuine virgin ram's blood. At least they said that's what it was....


Mille
Our suspicion is that Dan may have bribed some of the voters for this one. It's a card game played with twin decks.


The Pointed Stick
You'll need something to defend yourself with since you have no logical arguments. An obvious reaction to some of the more mundane regular hall inductees like the blanket and ball.


The Game of Death - Bruce Lee Commemorative Edition
Bruce and his movie don't really have much to do with it. Slap any celebrity name on something to increase sales (or YouTube views) is a key facet of gematria marketing strategy. It's the opposite of the Game of Life. In the end everyone loses.


The Atari 3300 Game System
It's really just an Atari 2600. A cardboard platform with "700" written on it is placed underneath to force the total to get a 33 reference. Top selling games include, WHICH FLOOR IS THE VEGAS SHOOTER ON? and NUMEROLOGIST HOME INVASION, MARCH 3RD.


False Flag Football
A triple crown winner. False flags, sports and F=6. FFF =666.


Nonnein Board
As Ouija is yes-yes in French-German, this is no-no to embrace the overwhelming negativity in gematria.


Gematria Trivial Pursuit.
Easy game play. As gematria itself is trivial the answer to every single question is "gematria".


The Klaus Barbie Doll
I'm not going into the details.