Monday, June 19, 2017

Debunking Gematria With Demonyms

What's that?!? Demonyms? Could this be some deviltry cooked up as part of the Jenna Coleman game? Some sort of hybrid between demons and nimrods?


It's just one of those fun little things about the English language, real English as opposed to some bogus system that assigns values to it because our language was allegedly created to rig professional sports. So watch out, you might learn something along the way.


A rookie reporter was at the Summer Olympics. All the cool athletes like the women's volleyball players were taken by the other reporters. Desperate for any story, he sees a lone, undisturbed guy carrying a long pole. He throws his microphone in front of the guy's face and says, "Are you a pole vaulter?" The athlete replies, "No, I'm Ukrainian. But how did you know my name was Valter?"


A demonym is word to describe someone from a specific place. Like Ukrainians from the Ukraine. Poles from Poland. Or Polish from Poland. But not Pollocks. Those are really stupid people from anywhere that think Jackson Pollock's paintings look really cool, when in fact they look like a drug crazed capuchin monkey was turned loose on a child's spin art toy.


From a numerology standpoint, all you need to know is that the letter after 'n' is 'o' and the first letter of the alphabet is 'a.' So when you have a city or country name that ends in 'o' and the name of a resident of that place ends in 'an' they equal the same total.


There's a bunch of them. Mexico-Mexican. San Francisco-San Franciscan. Ontario, Fresno, Colorado, Sarajevo, Morocco, Borneo, Puerto Rico and many more. It's not universal. The other two US members have Idahoans and Ohioans without dropping the 'o'. Africa ends in 'a' but they are Africans. So it's not as simple as 'o' being replaced to get to 'an'.


So I'm going back to my old standby synopsis of this. Let me get this right. These vastly powerful beings that orchestrated our language to connect Adam West's death, terrorist attacks, all sports games and so on to make these numbers be connected to each other, couldn't take the time to make sure that words to describe a resident of a place had different numerology than the place. In the most basic system. Yeah, that makes all kinds of fucking sense.


Are you a pole vaulter? No, I'm Sarajevo. Lazy, lazy NIPTUCKs.

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