Sunday, May 13, 2018

Gematria Debunked By MLB Team Mascots

You should know by now that I’m fond of waiting until something is overused before I latch on to it.  An incorrectly anagrammed Lady Gaga is a one and done deal, but once the comments start focusing on repeating something that doesn’t make sense...time to step in.

I have waited long enough for any comment to show about baseball and it hasn’t .  There have been a few picks for World Series Champs, with absolutely no surprises in that the gematria magically aligns with team names.  The mistake hasn’t been repeated because it can’t.  I was looking for a comment that was preceded by something like, “What about predicting this year’s World Series when....”

The hindsight predictions for March Madness and NCAA football had it.  The Philadelphia Eagles had it.  But what do you do with MLB in the Chinese Year of the Dog if that’s supposed to mean something?  There are 347 Division 1 NCAA schools and lots of dogs.  Absolutely nobody predicted the Eagles for Super Bowl champs preseason.  It wasn’t until they were proven to be the real deal and were headed to the playoffs before the underdog bullshit started.

The NFL almost suffers the same fate as MLB.  There’s no “dog” team name.  No timberwolves, no coyotes, no bulldogs.  The out was the rather mundane Browns team name which at least has the group of belligerent fans called the Dawg Pound, so there’s at least some connection to the Chinese calendar.  But the Browns are the Browns and sort of didn’t win much lately.  Not much use in predicting them to be Super Bowl champs.  And there actually were vague references to this because some players used to play for the Browns at one point, as if that means something.

The Chinese calendar had these critters:  rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat, monkey, rooster, dog, pig.  Even allowing for stretching that roosters and Eagles are both birds there are some dead years in there where the elites said, “Screw it.  No rat mockery this year.”  In baseball even more than “Browns” in the NFL, there are some team names that make no sense in regards to the Chinese calendar.

The Phillie Phanatic.  Not only do we not know exactly what a Phillie is the mascot looks like a cross between a muppet and something from a bad horror movie.  He’s furry, so even though green he’s not a dragon.  Other strange critters include the Reds Gapper and Orbit for the Astros.  The kids love these cartoonish critters and the elites hate that they don’t have a way to work them into the Chinese calendar equation.  Because nothing says soul crushing brutality like a child laughing.

Barrelman, Mr. Met and others.  Human and inanimate cross breeds from the lab of Dr. Bizarro.  Exactly what calendar critter do these guys ever get?

And these teams currently don’t even have an official mascot:  Yankees, Angels, Dodgers.  All in the top eight preseason bookie picks for the Series winner.  Good luck trying to pull the underdog card.

It’s safe to say that even though the underdog theme hasn’t had much attention for the NBA playoffs (with no dogs left) that if we hear about it this will be an add on to the numbers that can easily be duplicated for any team once the MLB playoffs get closer.  I don’t know how, but there’s always something.  Something stupid like the Reds make a big turnaround, there’s a card game called Red Dog.  Cards mean Las Vegas.  The preseason odds for the underdog Reds were 750000 to one.  XXX = 75.  Blah, blah, blah.  In the meantime nobody is going to go on record for what the Chinese calendar means to the World Series for months if ever.  Even though this is something Denim DD should be looking for NOW.  But don’t worry, we’re used to you reporting after the fact.

• Cleveland had a dog mascot in the old days before there were Indians.  It didn’t really seem to do them much good for all those Year of the Dog years that passed by previously.

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