Those magazines at the grocery store checkout have them. Those fun quizzes to help you find out if you are actually a better lover than you thought you are. (Shortcut: No, you aren't. Unless you answer dishonestly.) Or if you would be good at quilting. (Shortcut: Yes. Check the convenient advertisements on the following page.)
Now answer these honestly without checking the internet. Which answer sounds like the most likely, logical answer.
1) Rod Serling died relatively young, in his 50's. What are the circumstances of his death?
a). He got a lot of unwanted attention, faked his death, and went into hiding not actually dying until 83 years old.
b). Third heart attack on the operating table finished him off.
c). The Bavarian Iluminati killed him, timing the death for a ritual sacrifice.
d). In circumstances remarkably similar to the Twilight episode of Living Doll, he tripped on a doll on the staircase, broke his neck in the fall and uttered his famous last words, "I should have seen that coming. I wish I had written romance novels."
2) Why do I mention Wollongong so much?
a). I have relatives in Wollongong that like me to keep in touch.
b). Picked it at random and it just snowballed into a running joke.
c). I truly am paid by the government. The Australian government. And I'm spreading misinformation here.
d). The tourism industry council in Wollongong hacked into my blog, did a search and replace on Walla Walla and blocked all attempts to edit the material back to the original city.
3) There was lot of snow and ice in the Southern US recently. They don't get much. Why now?
a). The law of averages says they "were due".
b). Mother Nature is a pretty powerful force and the conditions were right.
c). The New World Order created it and to mock us as a display of power, they planned it for the Super Bowl.
d). The southern US hates Christmas, but they didn't want to miss out on having a white "something". The greeting card companies had everything booked except for this time of year now that Christmas and New Years are over.
If you answered a, you picked something not out of the realm of reasonability. But it's not the best choice. If you chose b, congratulations you are pretty well grounded. You dismissed choice a for a simpler, more likely explanation. If you chose d, you have problems. But at least you have a sense of humor.
Now c)
It's really hard to understand that people actually think that way. But they do. I forego the overused comparison to gravity and I choose food.
Bear in mind the intended target audience. Also keep in mind that the rest of this will be somewhat lengthy and lacking in jokes. (I'll see what I can work in.). So you have been warned, you may want to skip the rest.
Everyone likes food. You'd better. Because your body, as captained by your brain tells you that you like it. You get hungry. You eat. You stop feeling hungry. No need to discuss evolution of how "feeling hungry" came to be resolved. You intuitively know that if you go for an extended period of time without eating, you will get hungry.
Babies have it easy. They don't have to think about being hungry or what to do about. Their baby brain tells them, "I'm hungry. Time to cry." In turn this develops into: I'm hungry. I cry. I stop being hungry. Then this turns into. Oh, I get it. This crying thing works pretty well. Let me try it when I need to have my diaper changed immediately or someone to play with me. Cause and effect.
Eventually cause and effect relationships develop into higher areas. Outside the world of food, you turn a light switch on. You expect it to stop being dark. You don't have to think about it, you just do it. What happens when the light doesn't go on? You look for the most reasonable explanation. Did I in fact actually flip the switch? Is the bulb burned out? Is the cord unplugged? Is the electricity out in the entire house? If it's the bulb, you don't immediately think of why the bulb is burned out. You just know if it you replace it the problem will be fixed because that's what past experience shows. No need to have a college degree in bulb changing. No need to think, "Oh it's that shitty bulb I bought in Walla Walla, I should have bought a Wollongong Ultra Deluxe bulb that lasts 47% longer." If that's your immediate reaction, you have a problem since it doesn't directly solve the immediate concern of your darkness situation.
Back to food. Eventually you develop higher learning on the food situation based on experience. "I'm starving!" is an overused dysphemism for really, really fucking hungry. If you're old enough to speak the phrase, "I'm starving!" you know, based on experience that you do indeed have some time to rectify the problem. You'll probably settle for any actual food without regards to anything beyond it being actually food instead of paint chips or such. When you're less hungry, you use your experience to decide exactly WHAT you want to eat. Mom's nutritious meal she prepared. Pop a burrito into the microwave. Past experience showed you that you always enjoyed Wollongong emu burritos. Now do I eat that now, or save it for the baseball game tonight? That's when Debbie comes over and I bought it for her. Oh..I could buy more before she gets here. Cause and effect relationships. Learning. You like emu burritos. You like Debbie except when she yammers incessantly about quilting. Problem solved without crying.
Somewhere along the way some peoples wires get crossed. They eat too much and get fat. Food is a powerful enforcer because everyone needs to eat. Businesses like to make money. Unless they're manufacturing steel for the Golden Gate Bridge they might manufacture food. And there's money to be made in junk food, which sells pretty well. And there's a lot worse options out there than emu burritos.
Eventually they know they have a problem. Whether it's just that Debbie's dress is a bit too tight or she can't see her feet anymore. And you have to be wheeled around in a cart while Debbie laughs at how thin she is in comparison.
There's lots of information out there on what to do. Other people have had the same problem. The details are different how the problem came about. But it's now time to consider doing something about it. Your bound to hear that dreaded word. DIET.
You could not care and just keep eating until you need to be buried in a freight container dying young from clogged arteries. Or you could go right in for liposuction. But other people's experiences will probably make you (and the vestiges of your self-esteem) consider a diet. Even the medical field suggests this.
But which diet? Your friends have recommendations, based on their experiences. Your doctor is probably a real solid choice, because he can recommend something from scientific studies about more than just his personal experience. But, people don't like to go to the doctor. You're fat. Here's what you should do. You. WERE. WRONG!!!!!
And that's where the quack diets step in. Somebody looking into making money outside the bridge building steel industry will present the most ludicrous pseudoscientific claims proposing something that has no value at all, at least beyond short term benefit like losing a couple of pounds of water weight.
My experience in science told me when I first found out about gematria that it wasn't right. However as I see the way that the material is presented how someone who might be leaning the wrong direction could fall for it. My scientific experiences let me identify some tidbits immediately. Like arsenic in peach pits. Hogwash. These mistakes are so prevalent I limit my whining to a monthly award. But other than exposing the misuse of scientific lingo to give false credibility to gematria, it doesn't exactly prove what is wrong specifically with gematria.
Scientists (linguistics is a science) in general laugh off the idea of gematria. A lot of them don't know about the smoke and mirrors with the new conspiracy bullshit angle. They won't waste their time. If they do know it's still laughable and ignored. Oh, a two digit number means the freemasons did it? Where's the evidence? Oh? That?? That's not really evidence. Not scientific evidence. Empirical evidence.
Peer review is part of the scientific method. Research the concept of falsifiability in science. Real scientists embrace it. I proposed that an all emu meat diet was a good thing. I was proven wrong. Somebody builds on my work, and eventually discovers something better. Mankind is improved and I at least get remembered as the person who pointed them in the right direction.
Gematria is a dead end street. There's nothing new to learn. There is no NWO conspiracy. Is it really so much easier to believe that a snowstorm was created by the Illuminati than that Earth has a lot of scientific stuff going on that better minds than mine are figuring out all the time?
Compare the scientific method peer review concept within falsifiability with the Hubbard statements (probably not exact quotes) of, "I'm the only person that matters in the truth community." And, "My work is evidence based and undeniable".
Better minds than me will tell you basically the same thing I say here. Or they'll just laugh at you for choosing choice c.
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