Thursday, March 7, 2024

These Boots Were Made For Talkin’

 


Today’s featured detective is the guy who just figured out that  JUAN O SAVIN sounds like 107.  Great 👍.  Attaboy!  You’re…supposed to think it sounds like 107.  It’s not his real name.  It’s his “secret agent name”.  It’s his D&D character name.

Taking a side trip down the photo, JFK JR. equals 107 equal Juan O Savin?  Doesn’t appear to be gematria, as even with the maximum 31 ciphers loaded up on the Gematrinator calculator there’s none that have JFK JR. = 107.  Nothing says evil empire like being so secretive that only bad gematria references expose you.

I do need to point out that the image is from a different source than the Twixter poster.  Probably.  Of course we have the evidence that the image is a noob with the incorrect gematria.  But I want to talk about the boots.

This is yet another of the gazillion examples of crank magnetism content.  Searching for info on Juan O. you get reports of the mysterious figure that only video footage of the shoes shows up.  As soon as the amateur cognitive bias victim falls prey to Juan’s fake name sounding like 107 he gets the opportunity to find JFK Jr. baseless conspiracy content.  Probably even enhanced by the bad gematria.  If my gematria research doesn’t click, what’s up with those boots?  After all, I’m decoding things.  No need to limit myself to silly words and numbers.

We’re firmly in the same territory as the people that yak about colors of clothing being significant here.  I love the nice touch with the ?COINCIDENCE?.  Yeah, actually pretty much everything about that is completely believable as a straight up coincidence.  Pray tell, if one is not wearing pants over top of the shoes, what are your other options?  I come up with pants tucked into the shoes which is kinda weird and uncommon.  Or buying pants that are too small to fight right and looking almost as weird as tucking them into your shoes.

And joining the ranks with the transvestigation experts, our image promoter is an expert on leg length, just from a photo.  Thankfully, it’s less distasteful than claiming celebrities are a different gender than they are, but when looking to get a…leg up…on the other investigators it just proves that you are willing to make up whatever bullshit you want without real evidence.  Are you sure it’s the exact same length down to, a millimeter?  Or if it’s a quarter inch off that’s close enough?  What if that’s actually a photo of…<gasp>…someone else’s leg than Juan’s real leg??  Maybe even the leg of a WOMAN!?  I like my leg photos to show me legs.  Looking for telltale moles and scars and knobby knees where I can get some real information instead of just pants off the rack that lots of people can buy.  Same bone structure?!? Covered by pants?!?  Unless you mean that the bones structure is shaped like a leg bone…but that kind of describes lots of people.  A whole lot of people.

But the boots are what really bothers me.  And it should bother you, too.  And you can test your own detective skills by pausing and reflecting before the punchline.  And now I’ll give you a clue to help you along.

Bear in mind these people put undue emphasis on stupid thing like hand gestures and colors of clothing worn and how they’re chosen heroes follow secret codes so even when they’re undercover it’s a hidden sign of deeper meaning.  

Why the fuck, exactly am I comparing boots to shoes instead of shoes to shoes or boots to boots?  They’re not even the same color.  You’ve put yourself out there as the shoe wear expert.  You tell us why the shoe wear is so important in identification that it doesn’t even need to be the same to identify.  “I’m Dr Scholl, the expert witness at this trial, and I can clearly see that yes, this is some kind of footwear.”  Ignore the fingerprints and DNA.  Case closed, guilty as charged.

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