I have to mention my excessive disappointment. I kinda thought there would be more prep work within the gematria communities for the upcoming solar eclipse. It’s now a little bit less than a month away and there’s only a smidgen of info out there about it.
Flat Earthers have a distinct advantage of gematria for eclipse material like this. They don’t claim to have magic predictive powers regarding upcoming events. Just repeat the old, worn out talking points that have clogged the internet for years. Repetition of the rhetoric that appeals to those who would rather blame their failure in science classes at school on NASA, the government, smarter than average people, and just anybody but themselves that can fit in as the scapegoat du jour.
The Weird Shit in the Sky crowd, also an advantage over gematria for mostly the same reason. There’s no doubt a major eclipse qualifies as some hardcore weird shot in the sky. They do have claim to predictive ability - but just one talking point. The End of the World. Today’s review of gematria on Twixter finds a single mention where some clown chose 2320 as the magic number, and to achieve that larger than normally usefully result used the word REPENT repeated eight times. Because repenting before the previous seven major eclipses that didn’t result in the end of the world was so much fun.
What we do know about gematria eclipse narratives from past tries is that it will not have any significant predictions in an actual format that looks like a prediction. Similar to the Super Bowl it is a known event. It will happen. Because much to the dismay of flat earth believers science has a good grasp of celestial bodies and how sometimes the Earth’s moon pulls down the window shades just as things were starting to get interesting. An actual prediction would be specific instead of Nostradamusy.
Nostradamusy
Heaven's cage anoints the cold land while armies march into the realm of the scaly beast. Majestic music flies to greet the daughters of the chosen vessel known by the name of Miron.
Supremely vague and open to interpretation
Actual prediction
On April 8th 2024 someone named Myron who lives in Siberia with gematria of <XXX> will be killed by the slide of a trombone at a wedding rehearsal with gematria of <XXX> as a ritual sacrifice for the war between Madagascar and Wollongong that will start on the morning of April 9th 2024 with gematria of <XXX>.
Oddly specific and extremely unlikely. But because of that, if it did you would get a lot of well deserved attention and all the big bucks that comes along with that. And maybe John Carpenter will base a movie plot on you.
Gematria prediction
The fuck you talkin’ about. It’s not April 9th yet for me to post after the fact.
Because those of us who don’t base our lives on tiny numbers reported like they are significant news the morning after don’t know what will happen on April 8th, we get the joy of the Stupid Bowl. Where the grifters and their AL allies try to outcompete with outrageousness all the others.
There are a couple of words to expect and similarly events to expect. Somebody will die. Whether it’s an actual popular top tier celebrity or a minor celebrity temporarily promoted to top tier status or some random person who makes the news because of something bizarre like death by trombone slide, somebody will die. And if the phrase RITUAL SACRIFICE is not used , the Stupid Bowl fans will probably complain about the lousy officiating. And I suppose there will be some more X stuff, cryptocurrency grifting and election year content.
But overall, an actual properly formatted gematria prediction in advance has zero chance of happening.
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