No sense in beating around the Barbara Bush looks like Aleister Crowley with this one. Gematria would exist without it, but this makes it way too easy. There’s no such thing as a video without showing typing the magic words into the screen to prove that the number is indeed calculated correctly. (Except, of course, Rita 511 still is pen and paper. And no, unlike Zach and Holly we are not sleeping together). Things would be much quieter in the comments section if you eliminated all the lazy slags who don’t have a good calculator that can produce any number you want easily.
The Organic Matrix
It sort of always existed but wasn’t formally named. Yes, the Freemasons creating the number of bones in the human body IS stupid. Having your dreams invaded by the Bavarian Illuminati IS ludicrous. What’s better than something higher up on the organizational flowchart? Something vague and undefined with god like powers to fall back on. A force so mighty that it managed to let the Freemasons steal its code and maybe someday will decide it’s tired of selective omniscience and will put the brakes on that. Because nothing says the Freemasons rig everything like a more powerful force not giving a fuck.
Picking Both Teams In Championship Games
Not only do both teams get picked (consensus has never been a problem when it comes to small numbers that could mean anything - there is no Consensus Bureau updating demographics regularly) both teams getting picked are an integral part of the proof that the Freemasons and/or Organic Matrix in a high state of not giving a fuckedness are involved. The template is pretty simple.
1). Team A wins.
2). It’s rigged!
Or substitute,
1). Team B wins.
The details vary a bit, but that’s pretty much the way this game plays out. One of those details is next on the list.
They’re Out to Get Us
If you rely on people that agree with you instead of people that are right you need to address your chain of command. Declaring yourself the ultimate source of all the magical gematria knowledge hasn’t gone over too well. Now if you’re the only one who put out the story that had the key point about the speed of Saturn proving the Organic Matrix gave a bit of a fuck about the big eclipse ritual that could be every day of every year, it is tempting to suggest that “they” as represented by Wikipedia are changing the numbers to teach you a lesson personally. This falls apart in sports, there are too many people presenting conflicting information. The minions don’t take it well to have it suggested that they’re only out to get one person. Having the result declared scripted regardless of who wins keeps everyone happy.
Etsy Book Sales
Got a problem trying to pretend you looked for a publisher and don’t want to spend thousands of dollars to get an actual hard copy book produced? Well Etsy has pretty low standards. And despite the item being completely against their rules, as long as they get their cut they give less of a fuck than the Organic Matrix gives about their stolen code. And you can use your relatives social media accounts to promote it! Bravo! Now buy Holly something nice.
Declaring War On Flat Earth
The same way a collection of yes men is necessary to tell you how cool you are is, a target to disagree with is important to throw up a smoke screen. The Organic Matrix, not giving a fuck, has been pretty silent in the comments. But there’s always some naysayers to disagree with that can look equally or more insane out there. Flat Earth is like gematria where a vocal minority is always willing to spout off their own unfounded claims. And you don’t even need to do the gematria of Flat Earth to disprove them, which has enormous benefit since like all gematria the numbers are there for or against. There hasn’t been a good flame war lately. Somebody needs to put out a video to get the ball or two dimensional plane or whatever rolling again.
Not Telling Jokes
Sometimes they show up, yet seem oddly out of place. So when they do show up they are a breath of fresh air. But this is, after all, a very serious matter and not to be taken lightly. We’re talking the end of the world kind of significance. Being consistently grim and foreboding keeps us sheeple constantly aware of the serious business of MOCKING us through rigging sports games. I have it on good authority that if things get too jovial the Organic Matrix might start giving a fuck and step in to point out that there are better uses for these numbers than mere mockery. And despite the odd jokes showing up being funnier since they seem out of place, conspiracy theorists pretty much suck at it.
Use of Kettle Logic
Kettle logic is the use of multiple often contradictory arguments. Like claiming the entire language is coded and just the evil media headlines and/or what the police say is coded. Instead of one or the other, both are supposedly true depending on the situation. Yep, the Organic Matrix is really pissed about this one. All these lovely words made for your stupid language and they’re just wasted on the media? The Organic Matrix pointed out to us that DEEPLY CONCERNED=68 and NO FUCKS TO GIVE=68. But that Jake Lebowski should be happy as they also have values of 888 and 333 respectively, so that has to mean something, right? Well, kettle logic is a great tactic for lorikeet chess. So you gotta be prepared to use it.
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