I'm going to try to keep the numbers out of this post as much as I can. The purpose here is to give insight on how Nad's brain functions in general. I will point out some grammar problems, but mostly focus on the story and how it really doesn't make sense as it is presented. I do not doubt that many of the things Nad mentions are true. But it gets confusing and leads one to suspect whatever he says is possibly not for real if he can't muddle through a story without relaying the material coherently. You are more than welcome to give a read a try, for example to check on me if he really did insinuate that the Pope is a nigger (yes, he did) but I did warn you.
Our story begins with Nadnoodle getting a call from his old rap group buddy. Nad is working til 10 and they decide to get shit faced and head to the bar.
There are two bars in the small town and the first choice is packed so they decide to nuke that idea and go to the other bar. LETS go to the other one. Those darn pesky contractions.
Things start to get a bit questionable about the facts as the story shifts to the other bar. They arrive at the Buffalo club and there is "literally one person there."- Not one OTHER person. Literally, his words, one person there. The meaning of the word 'literal' has escaped Nad as he attempts to embellish the story and spice things up with a four syllable word. There are at least three people. One person you met, you and your buddy. I imagine there was at least one other person there to sell drinks. Probably two, but it's unlikely that an unlocked building with alcohol inside doesn't have somebody looking after it. So let's call it four which except in the gematriverse does not equal one.
This also brings to mind the question on why there was only one other patron there. I personally find it extremely unlikely to believe that in a small town with only two watering holes that nobody else got the bright idea to try out the other one. Especially with the possibility of free drinks with nobody tending bar. No mention is made if somebody else ever showed during his visit. That's ok, I will grant you that literally only one other patron and the bartender were there when you arrived. If you are going to record events in your blog it would be nice to phrase things more carefully.
So this other patron is a rap music fan and his family are "literally Juggaloes". This followed by, "not actual Juggaloes, but literally listened to Insane Clown Posse all the time. So, I take it Nad's pocket thesaurus was opened to "literal" and he wanted to get mileage out if it. If they aren't actually Juggaloes they are not literally Juggaloes. And they literally did not listen to ICP all the time. Maybe they listened to them a helluva lot. It seems to be a safe bet that some other simple functions like eating, sleeping and stealing drinks from an untended bar would occupy at least a small fraction of your life. And they are not literally JUGGALO's, consistently with the apostrophe s. Fucking contraction's wont stop me from relaying my story's.
Now, "the moral of this story lol"....is that he didn't have much money and played the gambling machine. No, the moral of the story is the conclusion. You are still in the middle. Maybe that's the point of this part of the story.
All righty then. You don't want your buddy to have to pay your tab all night so you are going to try and win money at the gambling machine. You put in two dollars and it gives you credit for $2.03. Yeah, fucking right. I'm going to have to call bullshit on that one. As we see later in the story the machine pays off in tickets. Even if it paid cash the maintenance to stock it with pennies would be insane. Stocking it with tickets to pay in even dollars I can understand. Giving you a three cent bonus on your $2 deposit is not realistic.
So, now we combine the magical $2.03 credit with the mental note of the jackpot being $203 with a payoff of $3.18 (yfr) and the gematria pump is primed; he has two numbers that mean something to him. Time to break out the big bucks and put $20 in it since he's feeling lucky.
Whoa, back that train up, dude. You were going to welch off your friend and you had $20 all this time? You cheap, slimy lamprey. What's the emergency that this $20 is reserved for? Or did you simply forget that this part of the story doesn't mesh with the previous part?
Now we arrive at the part where he cashes in his $75 of $1 tickets. No mention on what happens with any pennies. Presumably played out and lost and just took the $75 winnings. Now really. The jackpot is $203. You played for an indeterminate amount of time and won well over a third of the big prize? That's one helluva lucky night! I wish I was a Juggalo and could get some of that magic!
Then we finish with a flurry of meaningless two digit numbers that allegedly show the connection of the magical events of the night including a V exception rule never used before and Seventy Five (tickets won) = 53. (not calculated with the V exception, my how conenient(convenient with the V exception)). And personalized to his birthday.
All these events are reported about a night he admits that the goal was to "get hammered" on.
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