The Ultimate Unique Number

When presented with objections to providing only two or three digit numbers as “proof” there has been a small push towards cranking it up to four digit numbers.  And it doesn’t even begin to get close to working.  For starters any four digit number that has one zero is almost always matched as a three digit number after dropping that zero.  Then it gets messier.  Start with 13.  Reverse it.  Get the Krazy Glu out and stick ‘em together.  Drop one of the 3’s.  So even if some legitimate, if there really is such a thing, gematria value of 1331 is derived from an elision we’re supposed to believe that 1331 is for all practical purposes the same as 131.

Four digit numbers are so hard to find, so what’s a gematrimook to do?  The answer is simple.  Lower your standards and substitute quantity for quality.  A basic understanding of math tells us that settling for three digit number matches is easier to find than four digit number matches. And surely a super scary organization that can make eclipse rituals not timed out to the right date can’t be expected to suffer the indignity if providing anything resembling a unique number.  You know, something really
impressive like 9,042,011,078,256,213.

So let’s assault the unwitting public with two digit numbers that they aren’t even aware of.  To mock them.  Nothing says good times like constantly hiding 33 in a bunch of stuff.  Because, you know, 33 is so hard to come by.  It’s not like anyone will ever figure out that our rip roaring good times 33 mockery would ever be mistaken for BANANA=33 simply being a BANANA.  We’re so serious about our 33 means HOAX mockery that HOAX doesn’t even equal 33 in any of the basic elisions.  Nobody could ever guess what’s a hoax and what’s bananas unless, maybe....they just start taking wild shots in the dark.

But quantity over quality.  So let’s use 13 as well as 33.  Can’t settle for a single two digit combo.  We’re a lot scarier than that.  And loves ourselves some good times with the mockeries.  13 is already kinda evil.

https://web.archive.org/web/20180411062351/http://gematrinator.com/blog/index.php/2018/04/10/another-actor-arrested-for-bomb-threat/

Let the good times roll!  We’ve got 33 and 13!  Damned 33 was almost useless for calendar dates with they way months always end on the 28th, 29th, 30th, or 31st.  But HR is still whining, the little bitches.  New hires are coddled little brats that had everything handed to them by Mumsy and Daddy instead of actually having to do work.  The interviews show the solution.  Quantity over quality.  We need a single digit number for our mockery matching.  Hey, 33-13.  Both have a three.  So three it is.

https://web.archive.org/web/20180411071308/http://gematrinator.com/blog/index.php/2018/04/09/assault-rifle-rampage-in-illinois-right-after-gun-ban/

Talk about another not very well thought out idea.  Three.  That’s the best you’ve got?  Instead of upgrading to find a semi-credible way to find 33333 we’re putting the brakes on at a single digit?  Did you know that since zeroes don’t count there are only nine different single digit numbers?  Do you have any concept of how easy it is to find the number 3 on a daily basis???

And the justification is more binge drinking bananas* than just the idea of a single digit.  Three spelled out.  There we go with the spelling things out and pattern recognition for turning e’s into 3’s.  Now, do you have any concept of how many numbers have a double e in them?  Somewhere between infinite and infinite and any other answer than infinite doesn’t count.  In addition to the EE in THREE, every one of the TEENs has a double EE, but more importantly infinity is sort of never ending, so as you get bigger 999,999,999,999,000.  Not a hoax.  999,999,999,999,003.  Hoax number.

So if some nearly infinitely powered supposedly secret cabal was trying to hide their actions in numbers, instead of sucking ass at hiding their mockery in small numbers I think they would probably try to make each event individual.  None of this ‘tribute’ or ‘riddle’ garbage.  And if they think spelling out words is super cool instead of just sucking ass at hiding their supposedly secret mockery I think they could do a little bit better than THREE.  Or THIRTEEN.  I’d like to think that 9,042,011,078,256,213 would look something like this:

There’s your double e and a double 13.  Now the question is, how are you going to find a truly unique number like something in the quadrillions instead of declaring 3 to be a unique identifying number and reverse engineering it into a match?  Encryption don’t work dat way.  Good luck.

* Although bananas are not citrus and would be more associated with pudding this, as a fruit, could end up being part of the wrestling/jello/Cthulhu story.  I just haven’t figured out which single digit is the right one, yet.