Gematria, How It Works

Yeah!!!!


After a day off Nad updated his Mindless Freaks blog yesterday. We were starting to get worried. There was a level of concern here at least as equivalent to wondering if my feet were still attached to my ankles.


Nad is big on suggesting that this Gematria video explains how it works that it us the go to trick to defend against attackers. A quick Net search shows the simplistic math. And at least one site correctly suggests that the results can be ambiguous.


Fucking A right they are ambiguous.


In the simplest form A=1, B=2, C=3,...Z=26. Take the word, sum the letter values and you get the secret number. Then those who really know what is going on interpret the number and tie it into whatever cosmic force made that number come to the attention.


This hardly proves how Gematrua works. Indeed, it I the opposite. Let's take the simplest example. Dan or Nad =19. Lotsa words also total 19. Heck, it took me about two minutes to come up with several names that total 19. Mae, Jed, Alf. Not common enough? Holy shit. Bob also totals 19. How the fuck are cosmic entities supposed to distinguish their secrets if they can't singularly identify the prophet? Bob must be really pissed off every time Nad mentions he's 19. Bob is a narcissist.


So you've played around and gotten some numbers. They have handy Gematria calculators where you can type the word in and it totals it for you. Now to comb historical records and current events to find what they relate to. What they MUST mean. Always keep an eye out for numbers that have personal meaning, like your name, or some significance like Area 51 or 911.


What? You didn't get the results you wanted? There are some cop outs in the rules. Arthur didn't work? Try Art. Bob didn't work? Try Rob, Robert, Bobby or Bobbie.


What? You still didn't get a result you wanted? Try a different calculator. There are several. There's one convention that multiplies everything by six. There is a convention that if you get a double digit result like 22 you have the option, not a requirement, to count it is 22 or 4(2+2).


Still didn't get a result you want? After playing around with Dolphins, Miami Dolphins, Miami, Dan Marino, Bob Griese, Don, Shula etc...Maybe its time to look at the current roster and find someone with that jersey number.


Aw crap, that still didn't work. Okay, previous season rosters.


Double fuck me with a spoon holy shit fuck crap that still didn't work. Transpose the jersey numbers. 78 and 87 are now basically the same. You came up with 112? Jersey numbers don't go up that high. Well, 112 can equal 1x12, so use 12.


Dingleberry snotprick boogerdiddle dungwhimple F-U-C-K!!! Now what since I still didn't get what I want. Manufacture something nobody can prove. Like Nad's story on how "he just happened to be thinking of his brother's friend dying in a Saturn car crash". Possible. But far more likely you came up with the number for Saturn and reverse engineered it to fit your needs.


Still frustrated? The spoon is broken? Like a good politician or Internet troll move on and ignore it since it doesn't support your argument.
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Real life story. The sports editor if the local newspaper had his weekly editorial. Included was his revelation that total offensive points scored in one season was EXACTLY the same as defensive points. The claim was made with an obvious, "What are the odds?" angle to it.


Nad's recent post mentions Satan and Santa in the same manner. As far as anagrams go this one is about as basic as you can get. It just screams out its obviousifucality (real word). Apparently Nad never heard the old joke about Santa and Satan having the same letters, both wear red and black and you never see them in the same spot.
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Nad has been whining about YouTube removing his Last Supper meme banner. Oh!!!! Conspiracy! It's because my banner also mentioned Truth. Personally I think it's a sign from God. Jesus made something out of nothing by turning water into wine. And he took your nothing blog and turned it into whine. Suck it up and live with it. It could be worse. Your account could have been deleted.
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So since I've been thinking about the Twilight Zone I've been thinking about the opening sequence. You want to see something really scary?? Nad mentions a daughter in his blog. The prospect of him breeding, that's scary.