Making Successful Weekly Football Picks With Gematria

The first assumption we can make if you are reading this is that you are what the dictionary defines as a human being.  We can’t and won’t make any judgments on what quality of human being are, although we must alert two categories of readers before getting too far.  If you are a long time reader then understand this is part of the marketing plan to get keywords into the post title.  If you are someone that thinks gematria actually works, you’re in the wrong place.  A cynical assessment of lack of open mindedness in processing overwhelming evidence, vestigial critical thinking processes and embracing logical fallacies garnered from my nigh on two years of experience.  The second category of reader has probably not gotten this far so insulting them isn’t too much of a bother for me since believing in something trivial like actual  evidence never impacts them.  It’s like talking to a brick except that at least the brick doesn’t bounce around between contradictory defenses and simply remains a brick.

So, you’re a human being that likes sports.  One of the things I’ve learned about humans is that they are social creatures.  I prefer to spend a lot of time on my own because there are far too many brick like companions available in the social interaction pool for my tastes.  But that’s just me, and I actually do have what people would call friends. And some of them actually appreciate my snark.  But, this isn’t about me other than further verification that I am also a person and not a brick.  Although I suppose a sentient brick could be typing this, because when dealing with gematria and similar topics anything is possible.  Comparatively the idea of sentient bricks makes more sense than some of the things I’ve seen.  A lot more.

Moving away from bricks(slowly, never rush off to leave a brick suddenly as this confuses them), at least for the moment, humans with non-brick friends tend to interact with other humans that have similar interests.  So what you’re going to need as a human with a healthy interest in sports.

That word healthy is important.  You don’t want someone obsessed that only lives for sports.  Someone who can enjoy a game without life or death consequences on the outcome.  And of course someone that doesn’t talk to bricks and certainly doesn’t give any indication that they may be a closet brick in disguise.  Since this is specifically about football I have some gematria related tips.  And in order to avoid deception this is about how to identify someone who is likely NOT to be susceptible to the lunacy of gematria.  And if you’re investigating how to pick football games your self confidence is low in that area, so I’m making a fairly natural assumption that you need a non brick to talk to.

First of all, the stats gurus are probably a bit too close to obsession and although they might have personal success their willingness to share the knowledge is limited by available time.  Talking to you is time spent away from spreadsheets and weather reports and all the other details you need to track the little things that add up to winning in the long haul.  This is about just picking for one week.

Someone that invests a couple of hours on their fantasy team each week is a good choice.  Not an ideal choice though.  Since they aren’t obsessed it indicates that they have a healthy balance in life and must spend time on other things like eating, working and having sex.  (And that last one could be disastrous if they are a brick layer.)  If they’re available that’s a good starting point; they will have a lot of these good football viewing qualities I now mention.  In no particular order.

1). Ability to identify the likely cause of the penalty flag that was thrown before the announcers or officials make the call.
2). Acceptance pre-game that their team might actually be outmatched and stand the chance of losing.
3). Ability to nurse 2-4 beers during the course of an afternoon without feeling obligated to get sloshed before the opening coin flip.
4). Enjoys a good, well played defensive struggle just as much as a high scoring game.  Go cornerback blitzers on that key 3rd and seven play with the score tied 7-7 in the last three minutes of the fourth quarter.
5). Admission that while Tom Brady is remarkably talented, in his personal life he is a bit of an asshole.
6). Understands that jersey numbers are important to identify position played (see #1).
7). Limits fanship rituals to apparel without resorting to face painting or a new tattoo or something even weirder.
8). Will bet a modest amount with the point spread involved just to make it interesting; won’t mortgage the house based on gut feeling.
9). Won’t obsess about the inevitable bad calls or complain about how bad the game is now compared to the good old days.
10). A disinterest in bricks beyond normal brick things like being used to build a house or displacing water in the toilet tank to save on the water bill.

Because here’s what you get when someone tries to use gematria.  Since Denim hasn’t been posting much and even his last post on basketball had zero interest and no comments:

https://web.archive.org/web/20181203070732/http://sportsgematria.blogspot.com/2018/12/?m=0

 

It’s been like this for the entire existence of the blog.  Oh yeah, there’s been some underdog picks along the way.  And the overall record is good.  But take this week as an example of the way it goes every single time on every single blog, Patreon subscriber update and video comments.  There’s gematria to explain the case for both teams before deciding on the final pick, with zero explanation on which numbers are better and <insert drumroll or brick hitting head>

Every single pick was the favorite.  Two of those were double digit favorites and STILL there’s two wrong.

There’s got to be some reason other than numerology and reporting after the fact that makes you choose one team or the other, and it’s terribly unimpressive to pick the favorite a lot.  Pretty much every time the underdog wins that wasn’t clearly predicted (like, not predicting both teams) is a failure of gematria.  Why would I want to join your Patreon subscribers who put more weight on finding numbers for both teams when I can just look at the ESPN app on my phone and get the same info for free?  And we don’t even get the crazy stories of how the Freemasons are laying the (brick) foundation for the takeover of the world by mocking us.  Where’s the fun in that?  Is it because bricks don’t fit in well with Organic Matrix ideas?  Even if they’re sentient.  Throw me a brick bone here.