Wednesday, September 26, 2018

The Phoniest Gematria Cipher Yet

Kinda hate to use the brutally obvious pun, but this is the most fake elision ever made.  Yes, made.  Contrived by the users of bogus gematria and not some selectively incompetent secret organization.  But I am getting ahead of myself.

So let’s go over what’s wrong with this bullet point by bullet point.

1). We were told that no more elisions would be added to the calculator.  And nothing says fulfilled promises like a hollow promise made by a gematrimook.  So, a different system that obviously has no historical precedent is now officially slapped onto the screen for the weak minded to find a different value to conveniently ignore as they see fit.  You can certainly forget the ludicrous idea of the Organic Matrix thinking that it was going to pull the puppet strings and mask coincidences hiding the secret in the keypad not invented until the 20th century.  Or, maybe not.  Go ahead and believe it if you want as the rational world laughs at you for it.  Sorry Victorian era truth seeker.  You’re gonna have to wait until the phone is invented to be amazed at how that CAT=14 means something.  The thought of the Freemasons sitting around and pondering when to unleash the invention of the phone is slightly less laughable.  Do we give Alexander Graham Bell a CAT or not?  Decisions, decisions, decisions.

2). You know, the numbers didn’t always have letters behind them?  Like, honestly, the phone just had numbers for a long time.  Oh, I guess that’s really a subsection of #1 above.  But noteworthy because I wanted to make 3). a separate point.  So I wanted a segue.

3). Did you know that for a long time there were no q’s or z’s on the phone?  Look it up.  I lived it, but since most gematrimooks are too young to remember they probably didn’t think about it.  Supposedly the origin may be “We have 8 numbers with three letters a piece so people could do mnemonic tricks to help them remember their phone number.”  So, 3x8 is 24.  Two letters had to get the axe.  Q looked like 0 and Z like 2, so they were the choice.  Or it was a semi-random choice.  So now.  Did the Freemasons do “wrong” gematria until the change to include all 26 letters??  Nothing says astute researchers like inability to cite a reference regarding an issue like this before just throwing it out there for public pinheaded consumption.

4). Oh, another subsection elevated to a bullet point?  Yeah, what the hell.  It breaks it up from being one long rambling paragraph.  8 digits used.  Because there’s no 1 in keypad gematria.  Oh yeah, that makes all kinds of fucking sense.  Because you need 1’s to make 11, the almighty master builder number.  So the Freemasons also decided, “Oh, fuck the master builder number.  Even though we’ve turned AA into 1,1=11 before let’s just scrap that for keypad gematria.”  Of course, this is consistent with gematria in practice.  Like, you don’t reduce eleven ever. Not ever.  Not ever, ever.  Unless you do.  So that’s okay.  Just don’t do it too much.  Unless you want to do it a lot.  Because that’s okay.

5). Well, I suppose with zero not having any letters this might help balance the dropping zeroes thing.  Because you always drop zeroes in gematria.  Except when you don’t.  Reference point 4). about 11.

6). Couldn’t you have saved everybody the time and thrown in Reverse Keypad  gematria NOW?  You just know someone is going to use it sooner or later.  Or at least ask the question about which digits get four letters if you were to reverse it and make Z=2, etc....  There are only 5,717,904,285,433 different elisions now.  What’s one more?

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