This might get a little too much for religious types. I think I have a good handle on how not to be antagonistic about theological matters. But since the fidget spinner fiasco is fresh on my mind this is the best time to bring it up.
The reason that the fidget spinner being Satanic became so trendy and autocompleted immediately on my Google search was that the Church of Satan got word of how gematria "proves" they are Satanic by arriving at '666'. I've been busting on numerology's Beavis and Butthead style fascination with that total for months. (Jenna Coleman game, Tickle Me Helmo for example). This number just can't go by without some Butthead mentioning it in an attempt to win a cookie. Or bong hit, or whatever. Every time it shows up. Even though it has nothing to do with the narrative. Fire kills family of 18 in Ohio. Solar eclipse masonic ritual sacrifice. And the names of two of the children equal 666! Ha!
Dumb asses. In short, the Church of Satan's response translates to. "Shut up you conspiratorial douchenozzles. It's just a number." Bingo. Nothing theological about the response. And what they probably don't realize is the convoluted gyrations that go on to reach that number, including the fidget spinner.
In the specific case of the spinner this highlights the recent creation (not discovery!) of new numbering systems. Particularly Reverse Ordinal, z=26, ...a=1. Before that everything that equaled 666 based on the regular order was all we knew was 'evil'. Now there's a whole bunch of new words that just happen to equal 666 that these 'astute researchers' never acknowledged before. But this doesn't mean discard the old data. You can use either! And any of the 4,813,027,641 other numbering systems! As long as you get to 666!
Since I've acknowledged intent to make this more theological than I normally do, I offer a fairly tame religiously toned analogy. Jesus can walk on water. Ok. I'll give you that. But could he walk on top of the water in my bubble bath? No. Oh wait! Soap bubbles have a prism effect. Rainbows are cool. Yeah. We just discovered he can walk on bubble baths last week. Koi ponds. Yeah. We didn't think he could at first. But he did some pretty impressive stuff with fish. Yeah. He can walk on koi ponds. Eventually we'll end up with Jesus walking on every type of water. COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT OF THE ORIGINAL STORY.
Just like gematria tries and fails miserably to make math and science part of the mix, the existence of anything remotely sacred, mystical or occult is to give it a false sense of illusional coolness. And specifically in the case of the Bible a handy source of a bitchload of numbers to quote. Do you know how many times 666 is mentioned in the Bible? Three. And the first two have nothing to do with the evil context that it is universally associated with now. The number of the beast is the most impactful if the references. I would think people would be more interested in the End Of Days. Even without plate glass windows chopping off David Warner's head and Bruce Dickinson singing about 666. But if hopefully open minded little Johnny does his homework he can also find that it does not instantly, without any uncertainty, mean that one number is 'evil'.
One of the top gematria users might get the bright idea to try and distance themselves from fidget spinners, but the black cat is out if the bag. Now you've gotten a lot if unwanted attention. The next logical step for open minded little Johnny is to realize that 58 and/or 59 does not always mean FREEMASONRY. I can turn any two digit number into a ridiculous scenario or even a somewhat believable one. Much to the regret of Peter Falk's family and admirers, the Girl Scouts and avocado farmers everywhere. Yep. Did that one. Also did chipmunks, gophers and mumps as a believable one. And simply put, as I finished in my last post, do you really think some super powerful force cares about the FIDGET anagram, GIFTED?? Gifted student. Gifted athlete. Gifted ...theologian. That's a pretty positive spin for one adjective. You don't usually hear talk about gifted crack heads or gifted pizza delivery drivers.
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