Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Ending a Miserable NFL Season

 

If you are making shitty predictions and relying on your demographics there’s one tough job left at the end of the football season.  There’s only one game left on game day.  And if one of your top critics is recapping exactly how shitty your picks are, you need to find a way to keep the shit active.  One last $100 bet isn’t that exciting.

The Super Bowl, Christmas time for the sports betting grifter, is more about catering to your demographics and building up to a new season.  Every year is a rebuilding year for the sports betting grifter.  You’ve amassed a lot of wrong picks over a full season.  You are having trouble keeping your lies straight covering up your, at best, mediocrity.   You need to confuse and bewilder the new cult members one more time.  Get them to join the Patreon NOW, because your demographic is loaded with the kinds of gullible chumps not bright enough to turn off the autopay on the Patreon subscription and waste money for years - long after they gave up on losing more money with betting the shitty picks.

So wow them with prop bets.

That’s how Hubbard topped the magic $3k amount at the end of the season.  By doing something that technically isn’t even gematria.

The prop bets are mostly suggestions on things like career stats of the current season stats.  Showing “gematria” of 1 for somebody scoring 1 rushing touchdown.  Nah, that’s silly.  Too silly for even their notoriously low standards.  And somebody, even an entire team scoring 42 touchdowns?  Well, if predicted and it happened that would certainly open up some eyes and you might be on to something.  But it ain’t gonna happen.  The prop bet is a way of playing with dates, more subtle than the overused “this happened 3 weeks and 3 days” tripe the initiate cult members are overexposed to.  To amass a career stat of a more useful two digit gematria number you have to be talented enough to have a real career instead of back up offensive lineman for two seasons.

You’re familiar with the names of the career players.  The standouts have already been held accountable for being an arbitrary scapegoat numerous times.  Even the Brady and Manning types had bad games.  Even the most stalwart fan hates them briefly for choking in the clutch at times.  Mix in a little racist content - the NFL is perfect for that.  Both sidesing.  Claim the NFL is racist, your new black cult members love it.  Throw in the occasional racist rant including the N word.  Oh yeah, that happened a lot.  Just keep the patter fast and confusing as your pointing out how many sacks the star linebacker had this year for a prop bet, get the Patreon sub now, and sit back and collect because by the time they get offended they might not even be looking at the bank statement and seeing there’s a subscription that should have been canceled.  That’s the life partner’s job.  The forgotten subscription cancellation is quite the double whammy. They won’t research ahead of time to avoid the scam in the first place.  They don’t give up even when they wake up to the scam.

But fear not bored truthseekers and lovers of your bank account dwindling.  You don’t have to wait for the next NFL season.  You don’t have to wait for the NBA playoffs.  You don’t have to wait for your nonexistent futures bet on baseball (that claim won’t be made until it’s pretty obvious which teams will be in the playoffs).  You can lose money now on the not actually gematria of:

Racing.

Strangely, I found no ancient texts that show that cars were predicted and that the number painted on the side “means something”.  Car and horse racing is always fun coming from Zach.  Just watch the next Kentucky Derby as he picks 7 different horses, one of them places and he congratulates the winners.

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