How To Predict A Celebrity Death

The short answer:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/42/Shoehorn-800.jpg
I guess I have to give a shout out to Zom for this since he commented about Bob Dylan, here. And I owe him for pointing out that Satanic gematria is based on 666 being a triangular number. I'm reluctant to, since I'm a merciless attention whore and I'm in fear of losing my sweet gig that pays oh so well. Perhaps I can placate him with a cookie and he'll stop giving up any attempts to usurp control. If you are not Zom, DO NOT LOOK AT THE FOLLOWING IMAGE. Zom,
https://img1.etsystatic.com/000/0/5433381/il_fullxfull.239905755.jpg
Now, to this day the single old post that gets the most attention here is How To Predict A Sports Champion. There must be a lot of Googling "Sports Champion Gematria" or such going on and accidental views before finding out I'm being a sarcastic prick. Since this post is also inspired by those viewers, you get a cookie, too.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/31/09/40F5670200000578-4557832-image-a-9_1496219320864.jpg
Which are less sharply defined and look more like tiny little balls and dorks. Seems appropriate.
In addition to being limited to a certain amount of f-bombs during my phone plan billing cycle, I'm also limited to how many images I'm allowed to put in a post. Translation, I'm too lazy to look it up right now. There is an entire post on the FTFM (still not a typo) blog dedicated to the topic of predicting Bob Dylan's death. This is a pretty old topic and shows up in the oddest spots. But mostly seems to be a product of predicting a sports champion. Because Bobby was born in Minnesota= Super Bowl! Specifically Duluth. I can just picture the video that's already been started: "Hey Duluth seeker, Zach here. Welcome back...."


It's like some sort of dead pool where the winner gets a pat on the ass and a cupcake shaped like the number 1 with a candle blowing in the wind. Dead pools are not a new idea. Dirty Harry did it. Marvel Comics did it better. Well, not the theme, but the movie was a lot funnier. I could be influenced by my distaste for Sondra Locke, who although was not in The Dead Pool always comes to mind when I hear Clint Eastwood.
Last year was a banner year for this site:
https://deathlist.net/
Slightly more than 1/3rd of the fifty picks predicted before 2017 even started cooperated by kicking the farm and buying the bucket. Scratch that. Reverse it. However, they kind of, let's not say cheat, but "hedge their bets". Everybody is really old, really sick or both.


The easy way out is to predict this way - Every celebrity that's alive today will die within the next 5000 years. Shoehorn in freemasons. Texas Sharpshooter in some date numerology. After they cooperate by actually ghosting up the give. Scratch that. Reverse it.


The Bob Dylan pool had lots of other suggestions although these didn't have the Minnesota connection Dylan has. Stan Lee was mentioned and I'm sure whoever said that was actually hoping his recent hospitalization was the end, had them chomping at the bit to pronounce how they predicted it. Even yesterday we had some lovely Tindering of a date where this guy's death is related to still alive and rolling Stephen Hawking's birthday.
http://freetofindtruth.blogspot.com/2018/02/33-48-143-144-170-241-johan-johannsson.html
The same low standards on reporting on copyright violations carry over into what qualifies as a significant date.


So in practice it's awfully similar to predicting a sports champion when the two finalists are known. Predict one or the other, or both. If you're right, declare victory. Capital letters help. I PREDICTED THE EAGLES WOULD WIN BECAUSE SONDRA LOCKE MEANS "LOCK" AND THE COWBOYS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A LOCK FOR THE SUPER BOWL AND THE EAGLES ARE IN THE SAME DIVISION AS THE COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!". Or whatever other bullshit you have available to work with like the color green or Year of the Dog on the Chinese calendar. Ignore having made a prediction if wrong and hope nobody notices.


They usually don't come right out and make predictions on celebrities croaking. However I like Dan's approach from yesterday to solve the being incorrect part of the problem, like here:
https://web.archive.org/web/20180211084229/http://themindlessfreaks.blogspot.com/2018/02/starmanfilm-starring-jeff-bridges-death.html?m=1
Could we see Steve Miller's death this year or COULD IT MEAN SOMETHING ELSE? Like Steve Miller not dying this year.


Because nothing says scary predictive powers like choosing both options between dying and not dying. Have a cookie. The second image variety.