1. An alleged secret plot. It’s not fun if it’s not a secret. It’s not enough to admit that the world is screwed up because there’s wars with Ukraine vs. Russia and Israel vs. Hamas openly going on. If it’s not secret, everyone knows about it, and you’re just reporting news, not secret knowledge. You’re edgy and cool if you’re the expert on the real story nobody else knows.
2. A group of conspirators. By definition it has to be more than one to be a conspiracy. But it’s no fun if you can’t drag a lot out f conspirators in. You never know when a previous ally needs to be thrown under the bus as well as someone previously unknown may need to be added to the conspiracist list. Just use gematria. Based on gematria alone every single person alive now, lived previously or will be born in the future is in on it. That’s a pretty fucking large group of conspirators.
3. ‘Evidence’ that seems to support the theory. ‘Evidence’ in quotes because it’s manufactured, fake non empirical evidence. Fake evidence that gets churned out by bot networks and people who shouldn’t waste their time on social media. Fake evidence the mainstream media fact checks and debunks over and over. Fake evidence that at times a two year old could debunk.
4. Nothing is a coincidence. Everything is connected. Your value as a person is measured by self perceived superiority to others. And your brain is telling you constantly how cool you are. And then if things go wrong, it can’t possibly be anything but the world is out to get you for all the bad stuff. The SHIT HAPPENS, shirt is tucked away in a drawer in favor of the SHIT DOESN’T HAPPEN WITHOUT THE CONSPIRACY BEHIND IT shirt, and it’s flashier twin WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE? THE WORLD IS OUT TO GET ME shirt with matching loafers.
5. They divide the world into good and bad. There’s no room for both Biden being too old to be effective and Trump being a criminal. There’s no room for that more moderate Republican you don’t hear about having some good policy ideas being a quality congressman. He’s a RINO, not a MAGA bad ass. There’s no room for BlueAnon having the same problems as MAGA grifting. It’s all or nothing, black versus white gung ho full guns blazing good versus evil. And if you aren’t calling out evil with your manufactured fake evidence, you’re less than human.
6. They scapegoat people. Like the Freemasons/Illuminati in the old gematria days. The Jesuits in later days of gematria. Or people’s skin color, religion, political affiliation, and how much they weigh for forever.
7. (Not on their list). Somebody’s asking for money. And somebody’s way to combat evil is to take your money and keep it. Because the wealthier one is, the easier it is to convince people to give you more money that they don’t need. And once you give somebody money or show of support once, they expect you to keep doing it. It doesn’t matter if it’s a conspiracy theory or something strictly political or a charity. You join that sports pick Patreon, you will be called a shill for calling in each week but never donating more than your monthly subscription. You sign that Sandy Hook Promise petition, you will get several emails a week asking for money. You donate once to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital you will get asked for more. At least you’ll get some mailing labels or a pen or something though. That’s the way the world works. The difference with conspiracy theories is they ask for money and give failed predictions, broken promises and not ever a hint of any actual progress.
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