Someone Has Found Out About Anagrams

 

A decode with anagrams is just plain lazy.  You’re not even trying.  The third and fourth lines are a lazy anagram on top of anagrams being lazy for decodes.  Of course the gematria matches, it’s the same frigging letters.  Move the H from the small common word and over to the front of the other small word.  And nobody talks like this now that Shakespeare stopped writing new decodes.

  As dioxin hid through the clouds of yonder, mine sweetest Juliet whose lips doth quench my bosom’s fire.  Behold, the dioxin has id!  ‘Twas nonce of regretted memories for the Bengals to upseteth the Browns with a late field goal kickery.

Then to prove the point that anagram gibberish is just fine, the 6th and 7th lines pull the same trick.

Whenever I do a counter decode to turn a bummer of a narrative into the opposite of what the original author intended, my go to is Phraseshopping with synonyms and antonyms.  It breaks the tedium and is kind of fun to create a long list of equally invalid evidence just to prove the point that you can make small numbers mean anything you want.  This lazy anagram gibberish gets dangerously close to exposing one of the simplest gematria debunks out there.  Basic grammar in compound sentences.

I should point out that the “everything is coded by the evil empire” content is nothing like it used to be.  And that’s because of the reason I said, it makes it way too obvious.  But it still crops up, and I imagine or dioxin fan from above has dabbled in it more than just here.  So, if you’re confronted with a rabid gematria fan in real life who won’t shut up about how all of gematria pervades our language, keep these tools in your anti-crank toolbox.

1). Two of your favorite nouns.

2). A simple setting for a quick story.

3). A conjunction 

Then combine these into your own mega HAARP anti gematria super weapon.

Cats are awesome, and dogs suck.

Dogs are awesome, and cats suck.

Tom is dead, but Beatrice is still alive.

Beatrice is dead, but Tom is still alive.

Anacondas are dangerous, while* garter snakes are safe.

Garter snakes are dangerous, while* anacondas are safe.

And being anagrams with just switching the nouns around they have matching gematria in all the base ciphers.  The only ones they don’t match in are when people use the oddball ciphers that fuck around with different values for capital letters.  Of course, if need be you can forego the conjunction and make two sentences instead of a single compound sentence and even that idea is foiled.

And unlike our dioxide fan who apparently hates titanium dioxide in sunscreens and pigments, these sentences sound like normal speech instead of making you look like a low functioning moron.

And it’s extremely important to emphasize that these rudimentary sentences are effectively antonyms.  They communicate opposite meanings.

Real anagrams are tough.  And real anagrams that sound and read normal are easier when they are longer.  Short anagrams with weird Scrabble letters like X are tough.  This person might be better off punching in random synonyms to force the right number than moving a single letter around.  Just until they build up enough self confidence to start making videos that Zach won’t say about how, “you’re making this work look bad.”  That’s his job, to make the work look bad by being wrong all the time about the unavoidable, inescapable fact that the whole gematria system can be used to make any number mean whatever your confirmation bias decides it should mean.