Jobs For Gematria Users

**DISCLAIMER**

 

A large part of our misinformation problem is that the type of person attracted to gematria has such a big problem fitting in with society that they have likely become overloaded with a life filled by being told how their views are wrong.  Disenfranchised, impotent by lack of success.  Snarky posts like this are not a good idea to be used in actual conversation with societal misfits.  They will double down - one of the last bastions of their mental citadel being hating being told what to do.  This is for the concerned people with wondering why all of a sudden their loved one is involved in gematria, and incorrectly thinking it’s just a harmless lark.

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In general, a hardcore gematria user has extremely limited sources of gainful employment.  Indeed, the use of gematria is a bold statement that screams out how you don’t believe in evidence, are more than willing to knowingly manufacture the flimsiest excuse for evidence, and are more suited to being a puppet to a cult leader than even remotely approach independent, critical thinking.

So what exactly can you do with your life, other than generate decodes that you think are predicting something that never happens and constantly have to backpedal to rationalize your failures?  Just thinking about a resume and common interview questions is daunting.  Padding the conversation with, “I’m really good at gang stalking and issuing death threats on social media because FREE SPEECH!!!” is not gonna be too productive.  This isn’t necessarily what you might be thinking, what I mean is that someone who’s better than you and/or got into the office before you isn’t going to like the competition.  There’s only room for one queen bee that wants to be adored for how great they are while in reality they are useless.

Maybe you can get a starter job and just see how it goes.  The life of bouncing around between low level jobs instead of an actual career, just to make ends meet is the way to go.  But let’s think bigger for today.  Let’s use those self absorbed lack of empathy qualities alongside your numerology background.  Let’s keep you occupied and buck the general public’s view of you.  You know, the one that lead the thesauruses to list a synonym of gematria user as the defendant.

CRISIS CHASER INSURANCE CLAIM ADJUSTER 

Ambulance chasing lawyering is so passé.  Even with Bill Paxton passing away there’s not much call for storm chasing.  But you do know better than anybody else that every crisis is a hoax.  Wouldn’t it be fun to meet grieving families face to face and tell them their claim is denied?  That fire that ended the lives of two of your children?  Hoax.  Claim denied.  That’s the beauty of the job, you only need a three word vocabulary.  Hoax, claim denied.

INHUMAN RESOURCES

Ohhhhh, pop culture trivia.  Did you know that the actress that plays Flo on the Progressive advertisements had a gig on the Buffy the Vampire spin-off, Angel?  The demonic law firm (not bad person evil, literally demons) has Inhuman Resources, headed by in the future Flo.  Your job is to point out how every single employee is evil.  Again, just like crisis chasing by using gematria everyone is evil.  Super easy.

OFFICIAL TIMEKEEPER

Everything is synchronous - 20 year old events, eclipses from centuries ago, they all mean something today.  Nobody dies by natural causes, that 93 year old celebrity that died of - basically being 93 years old - ritual sacrifice.  25 year old Instagram influencer dies in car accident?  Murdered by the Jesuits.  The whole concept of time is fuzzy for gematria users.  Tell your boss that anything time related is whatever they want it to be.

VINTNER

By golly you people are great at whining.

SIDEKICK HOTLINE

Not Psychic Hotline, sidekick.  You jumped on the coattails of somebody with more influence than you to try to get on the YouTube Influencer path.  Somebody out there needs tips on how to be a sucking-up mindless toady.

SECRET AGENT

Secret Agents are always cool and they have numbers in their name! 

PATREON AUDITOR

They obviously don’t care if there are grifters.  If they get their fee everything’s cool.  Another cushy do nothing job.  The only thing that might break up the tedium is an occasional, “Oh sorry about that law enforcement!  We didn’t know about that!!”

CRYPTOCURRENCY 

Because freaking duh...of course.  Fake money backed by proof of work, a vague concept that doesn’t actually involve any work?  That contributes to climate change which is actually a hoax?!?  Why are you not doing this already?