Remakes, Ouija Boards, and Gematria

My posts are remarkably synchronized.  I’m either reacting to recent events.  Or choosing some random nonsense that popped into my head that turns out to semi like a good bad idea at the time.  Which is the same thing since there’s always something triggering the thought.  My brain bounces around like a pinball, and there’s nothing wrong with my pattern recognition skills.

So speaking of such things, be forewarned I watched the remake of Straw Dogs last night, which was surprisingly decent, other than the distractions of my internal pinball.  Now, I’m specifically synchronous with Krazy Straws (which has a functional website), the Sam Peckinpah inspired Monty Python skit, Quentin Tarantino with a movie about krazy dogs with Peckinpah levels of violence and loads of other more bizarre stuff you really don’t want to know about.  Trust me on that.

And part of the reason for remakes is the memories.  Straw Dogs is somewhat classic of the remake or reboot process.  The original was set in England.  Now it’s been updated to small town US rural south.  People don’t want to see the exact same movie as much as something at least a little bit different to compare the mental notes with.

And gematria is a remake.  That’s even acknowledged in the opening credits of far too many videos.  “It’s based on Kabbalah, isopsephy, blah, blah, blah.”  Since the goal is to lure in a constant supply of new blood that’s attracted by the weirdness and how the new blood needs an outlet for not fitting in to a society, pretty much every single videos start is a remake of the basic plot.  Then, the evil numbers are a remake of the exact same evil numbers as the previous videos.  The reinforcement by repetition is relentless and purposeful.  Hammer home the idea that 56 means Jesuits, 42 means racism, 113 means dishonesty.  And shorter term themes like “this is the 98th football season” help introduce a bit of variety, the same as now the Dogs are displaced from the original location.

As far as quality of remakes goes, gematria videos fall flat.  If you’ve been following for years, eventually you start rooting for the show to find a major interesting plot device like killing off a new character or water skiing over a shark.  Anything but what Daryl Dixon already did in seasons 2,3, and 4 multiple times already.  The same people call into the show over and over.  The same 10 people actively post on each video, while the other subscribers quietly say nothing and suffer through the endless begging for likes, shares and comments.  (And donations.)

Gematria videos need a big shot in the arm.  Well that’s not really worded well.  Gematria videos need a big declaration of how vaccines are not safe and you shouldn’t get a shot in the arm.  There, that’s much more apropos.  And I’ve got the perfect crank magnetism plot line.  The Ouija Board.  It’s so brilliant, it’s surprising that there isn’t already a gematria cult clique for it.

Actual Ouija board stuff is complete bullshit, just like gematria.  The niche is filled mostly by pre-teen girls on sleepovers giggling when the planchette moves to “Yes” when Melanie sneezed and slightly older kids which inevitably has that one jackass that forces the action to their desired result.  And the middle aged astrologer/seer grifter who has tarot, crystal ball and palm reading content.

Movie Ouija content is much better suited to the fictional world of the gematria conspiracy grifter.  We’re already in remake territory in Ouija movies.  Without access to a brain capable of developing something new and innovative - Ouija movies are all ghosts and demonic possessions.  The entire plot revolves around how the Ouija gives secret knowledge to that the group of Ouijettes that has the misfortune of stumbling upon it.  And just like gematria sports picks doing nothing other than emptying the marks wallets, nothing good ever happens in an Ouija movie.  The ghost/demon is always a vengeful and evil prick.

Our Ouija movie inspired grifter can do his Ouijafication (forcing the planchette) without the burden of altering the results by transpositions, dropping numbers and prime number lists.  The gibberish gets upgraded to not trying to convince people that Saul Yeshua vindicates the Six Six Six to any gibberish the board produces.  Now, “fdjja7xslb0d” has equal validity to what Saul posted on gematrix.org.  Which it does.

And it’s a ghost or ancient demon!  Gematria stories are all about decoding past events without a hint of predictability for the future.  The Ghost of Tim Wakefield told me it’s a Jesuit ritual.  Ooooohhhh, super scary.  And ghosts already have the courtesy to be based on dead people.  No need to insult sick and elderly people who are still alive (those bastards) by predicting their death date.  Picking on already dead people goes a long way for picking a target to bully that won’t fight back.

Be forewarned though, for those that want to use this new format.  The, “I was just kidding defense” will likely not work.  We’re firmly in the territory of “The voices in my head made me do it” territory.