The usual disclaimer first.
If you think you’ve found a spot to help with the inevitable barrage of misinformation about how gematria can help your bracket, you are sadly in the wrong spot. This is an explanation of how they pretend to use gematria to help you. So that you eventually fall into a spot where you pay anywhere from a modest monthly Patreon donation fee to even a thousands of dollars exclusive package for their magical picks. In this sense, the definition of gematria stands firmly as Fucked Up Numerology” where although you might not see the individual tricks in any given post or video it’s so bulletproof that any number can be produced to support your team picked. And therefore by logical deduction any number can apply to the other teams.
For more information on this you can use the search feature here to look at the fiasco that was 2018 college hoops, mostly courtesy of Denim Davis and his use of the tried and true tricks that frankly I’m surprised anyone falls for, at least to the point where you actually break out the credit card or PayPal account.
1). Reporting in hindsight. Wait until the games are over and proudly proclaim you found these magical connections. Which only an idiot couldn’t find since the same numbers can apply to every team, or other numbers not part of the narrative can be found with enough practice that shows you really can’t rely on the numerology. Not useful for showing predictive ability since no actual prediction is made, but advertisement to lure the unsuspecting into spending time and letting confirmation bias take over. It works something like this:
Fucked Up Numerology Pro: See! UNC scored XX points and that means blah, blah blah! I knew they would win and this game was so obviously scripted by the numbers!
FUN Rookie: Wow, let's see if I can find numbers for my favorite team next game! Holy futher muckin’ shit wads! I did. They won! It works.
Or if they lose
FUN Pro: I knew they were going to flip the script, it was so obvious because XXX means blah blah blah. I was getting too close to the truth.
FUN Rookie: Damn. I need more practice. Or if I pay then surely I’ll become a FUN Pro, too. Cha-ching!
2). Supplemental tricks:
A). Predicting relying heavily on favorites.
B). Predicting by showing the alternative storyline ahead of time in advance of being wrong about 50% of the time.
C). Not predicting and letting the FUN rookies show a relatively insane running dialogue showing numerology for both teams.
D). Rely on new FUN rookies not digging into the history in blogs and videos that haven’t been deleted and just plain lying about your past successes.
E). Predict a reasonable favorite to win in advance before the brackets are set. Then start putting up alternate narratives once the surprise Cinderella teams make moves and some of the favorites get knocked out. Keep your fingers crossed your team makes it at least to the Elite Eight to avoid embarrassment. Changing your bracket and lying about it is completely allowed. That’s what makes gematria so much FUN.
F). Make attack videos and blog posts about the other FUN Pros. The community never comes to 100% agreement as they’re shopping from the same base of suckers just itching to part with their money. Someboby’s bound to be right when 20 different teams are selected. And of course 19 will be wrong, but denying misses and focusing on hits like a psychic cold reading is what makes gematria FUN.
3). Avoid any mention of the fatal flaw in the system. If these chuckle monkeys REALLY had a foolproof edge to make picks with magical FUN numbers, dontcha think they would simply do that instead of charging you for it?!! You bet your sweet soon to be broke ass they would. This applies to all the gematria narratives, not just the sports. If they really had a way to make the world a better place, stop world hunger, end war, prevent Jim Carrey from making another movie, etc...there has to be a better way than finding tiny little numbers that could just as well mean that puppies are cute instead of the Freemasons mocking us with their almighty grip on the sports world while deep down they really just fucking hate puppies. The whole New World Order idea is 👞horned in. Get a grip on some critical thinking skills and be prepared to be told you aren’t thinking critically because you aren’t woke. Wait until the day comes when somebody shows numerology of a six digit number that predicts the NCAA winner a year in advance. Then you can break out the checkbook.
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If you want to predict the winner do what most normal people do. Do a modest amount of research of actual things that matter. Hot teams entering the tournament. Key players injured. That number 15 seed isn’t likely to win the tournament. Better yet find a sports geek friend that knows this stuff and who spends more time than he should on it.
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