The Dangers Of...Rice??

Let’s keep this light hearted for the weekend and look into one of the oddest things I’ve ever seen.

On the scientific level this is a complete fail.  Alternating between calling rice plastic in disguise and starch with cyanide.  “Made in Holland” with an actual timetable that makes no sense compared to reality of how it was first cultivated.  Oh, except wild rice.  Wild rice isn’t plastic.  It’s our only rice friend.  I love myself a good wild rice and I’ve got some in my kitchen cabinet now.  But as a gesture of defiance I think I’ll have some plain white rice today with a lot of curry powder or maybe just some good old fashioned black pepper.   And lick the top of a 9 volt battery just to get my daily dose of alkaline electricity.

Without seeing the financial motivation of the online shop, with the rest of the content on their website one would think that Poe’s Law applies and consider it's like a Bird’s Aren’t Real parody.  Only without the tie in of the two with the myth that birds explode when they eat wedding rice and the obvious correlation with the electrical effect fucking up robot birds.

For the gematria application to this blog.  Well, there’s an awful lot of words to spread around the 5,932,801,649 different elisions and ability to manipulate them into virtually any two or three digit number you want, even without PhraseShopping.  The interesting experiment would be to gather evidence from a group of gematrimooks who don’t know they are being tested and see how many dismiss the idea as totally silly and not worth gematrifying, how many think, no, all rice is our friend and how many are willing to gematrify it into saying, “Yep, they nailed it.”  I could make a full believable story either way very easily, but refuse to waste my time on it.  Mostly because the bad grammar turns me off, too.  At least Dan can cherish that others don’t know the proper use of the apostrophe.  And don’t forget the “that reminds me of” game where the obvious sports impact is found in Rice University and a lot more words to play just with the works of Edgar Rice Burroughs alone.

For more comic relief there’s more stuff proving that they aren’t blatantly ricist (Hah!).  And more comic relief here as short term I’ll become mildly obsessed with more rice puns like Rice-a-phoney, the San Fransicko Treat.

I don’t need that much more personal exposure to this nearly Time Cube style wackiness.  I already have to deal with the ricidual damage from this.