A long time ago, before enshittification worked its claws into every fiber of society, there was a sort of golden age of computer games. A period of time when you could purchase a stand alone game that wasn’t just existing to funnel you into an endless cycle of upgrades and newer versions. Upgrades that increasingly had a form of intellectual property shrinkflation. Dubious benefits versus additional costs. In that time, Civilization 2 became my favorite.
A balance of playability and realism was achieved. Some stuff from the beginning was just wrong. For example, a battleship crewed by veterans could be destroyed by a fortified troop of musketeers in a walled city. Playability-wise that makes sense. Too easy = boredom and there should be a risk or the reward is hollow. I suppose the thought process in that example is much like the actual straight of Hormuz situation now. Just shelling from long range isn’t enough to capture a city. In the absence of a coordinated force of battleship delivered shells and marines landing and doing the boots on the ground work, they had to do something with just battleship versus just musketeer combat.
A cute touch is that towards the end climate change and pollution is a real issue to be dealt with. Unchecked, too much pollution would end your dreams of being master of the planet. But without explanation, dedicating some capital from your global economy made that a nuisance more than an actual threat. So I would argue that without magical knowledge of what things look like today an upgraded version could theoretically be made. One that addresses the diplomatic and truly global effort necessary. Because as is, at the endgame where climate change is being a pest it’s just one human player and any AI positions left are sort of a joke in comparison. Now let’s look at some other problems with Civ 2 and how they could be updated these many years later.
The King Richard’s Crusade wonder
https://civilization.fandom.com/wiki/List_of_wonders_in_Civ2
The game is effect an increase in production for engaging in a holy war. That sounds an awful lot like slavery over a notoriously unstable region of the real world. Perhaps s a different theme could be chosen, or how about this. The cost to receive the increased production in that single city is an extra garrison to keep the slaves in line. One extra military unit of the era’s main type must be in the city or it revolts.
Sun Tzu's War Academy
Veteran troops are better than green newbies. Got it. But that means a social cost that should be addressed. Low morale, PTSD for the society’s forgotten Rambos, stiffing vets out of health care and pensions as is the tradition. I’m not going to throw a number out for my solution since I can’t play test it. Troops start as veterans, then after a period of some time reduce to non veteran status unless a monetary upkeep is put in to the system.
Adam Smith's Trading Company
The game is a product of the era of capitalism is the only way to allocate resources, and it shows. The “never becomes obsolete” aspect is complete and utter nonsense. My solution -a timer. A set number of turns after building the wonder and costs to eliminate pollution increase dramatically. It takes more time, more of your Cub’s treasury to clean up. As with real world capitalism clean up in game is more or less magic. My fix has you pay for the inevitable creation of oligarchs hoarding resources in our bastardized version of Adam Smith’s ideas.
Statue of Liberty and Women's Suffrage
Ouch. The U.S. doesn’t take the concepts behind them seriously enough. Best to just get rid of them until people start treating marginalized groups with more respect.
And let’s leave the rest of the wonders alone, but add Artificial Intelligence. And adding AI gives a reasonable tech increase but has so many expensive problems that it’s to be avoided instead of built. That approach takes the stance that the solution to the Fermi paradox is that advanced civilizations give up on wasteful spending on pipe dreams.
Fundamentalism and Extremism
Double Ouch
That does seem a bit racist and judgmental to instantly dive to the Middle Eastern vibe. The fix is easy. A graphic of an overweight AR toting slob with a red MAGA hat….as an option, not a forced choice.
Leaders
I’m not against the idea of Stalin being the choice for a Russian Civilization leader like in the first game. Civ 2 lets you pick from a wider set of options. However, when put side by side with the absence of Hitler as a choice for a German. The computer opponents per manuals and the internet are based on some set tendencies. Well I’m calling bullshit on the whole leader concept. You should be able to adapt and change as new information and eras arrive. The idea that Abraham Lincoln took you from the Bronze Age to launching a fusion powered craft is fine for playability. But I want the chance for Shaka to see the era of his ways and accept my regime change ideas after I threaten to nuke him. AND see that maybe backfire when he immediately forges an alliance with the Celt’s who also have nukes. Actually , at high enough levels the AI leaders seem to be all pretty much assholes.
Railroads
Sorry railroad fans, in Civ 2 railroads are way overpowered and the one thing for the mechanics of the game I’d change first. You can literally build railroads in every land terrain square and move across an entire continent sized piece of territory instantly. There’s no such thing as policing borders being an issue, and with no downside it’s beneficial to max out railroads. There’s an economic boost to doing it. The fix - instead of being free forever after construction you must pay for ongoing maintenance.
I could add some more. The temptation to offer a snarky gematria based conspiracy wonder is high. But we’ve all suffered enough with that.
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