Cyclogematriasis

Although not at the levels found in 2016, the Center for Critical Thinking has identified a rise in cases of cyclogematriasis.  Known symptoms of cyclogematriasis include:

Frequent and sometimes explosive cases of verbal and written diarrhea.

Focus on “meme” numbers like Pi, 666, and 88.

Increased cyber bullying and scapegoating.

A sharp decrease in the desire to treat others with dignity and respect.

Sharp weight loss and fatigue due to late night decoding and doom scrolling instead of sleeping.

An early victim of the current outbreak who only gave our reporter the name Superedgelord227 said this from his hospital bed:

“I was decoding the Titan submersible implosion.  That made me think of the Titanic.  That made me think of icebergs.  That made me think of iceberg lettuce.  That made me think of how you don’t see lettuce much in the Planet of the Apes movies.  That made me think of Charlton Heston’s character Taylor, that made me think of Taylor Farms of Mexico, that made me think Mexico in the 2026 World Cup, that made me think of how you’re not supposed to drink the water in Mexico.…” And we finally interrupted him since we got the point.

The best course of action to combat cyclogematriasis is preventative measure.  No decoding at all is best, but if you must remain focused on happy thoughts like the love of Jesus and the Golden Rule.  If you can’t help but talk about political, economic, and social issues be prepared to talk about housing prices, finite resources and the difference between projection and reality.  If you find yourself thinking that Obama is the Antichrist or an urge to gamble call the help line at the Center for Critical Thinking immediately. Do not drive a car, operate heavy machinery or watch Fox News until cleared by a trained CCT expert.