When natural disasters hit, those of us with even a bit of empathy can have images of the disaster strike a chord with us. For the conspiracy grifter, it’s an opportunity to play the HAARPshicord. The solution to fund rebuilding the devastation is not to cooperate with emergency aid agencies like the Red Cross. It’s not to offer support to arms of the military like the National Guard that might be involved. It’s not even to donate via a convenient link off a Facebook page that might actually have a portion to do some good. No, it’s to whine, complain point a finger at the government and insist it’s their fault, and the only viable solution is to donate that money to them.
That’s right kiddos, if you subscribe to a scheme to bet on NFL football games you can stop the military from making another hurricane.
Now I could go on about how a large part of the blame lies in the impending insurance/inflation bubble and how insurance is unaffordable and they just don’t want to pay out on valid claims, blah, blah, blah…but we just did the fighter jet meme so let’s stick with the crazy conspiracy stuff.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-frequency_Active_Auroral_Research_Program
Under the conspiracy theory section there’s also some domestic terrorism activity. More wasted resources. So there’s even more shrinkage on top of the actual storm damage.
The power level of HAARP doesn’t even scale to a lightning flash, much less a full fledged major hurricane. But it’s one of those undying quickie comments the fledgling conspiracy theorist learns. Why bother when you can just whine like a little baby about how something went wrong you have no control over. I have actually seen the single word in the comments of completely unrelated conspiracy content. Someone will mention the big cloud in the picture put up about a flat earth video. Some jackass will just reply, “HAARP!” Actually, it’s maybe more common to misspell it as HARP. One word that they think instantly catapults them to conspiracy stardom even though the regulars have heard it a billion times before. Add HAARP/HARP to the list of overused conspiracy lingo that proves you have no business being at the adult table, or on the internet at all.
Looking ahead to the rest of this hurricane season - we haven’t seen our last haarpsichord concert. Maybe it won’t be as bold and big but we’re due for a couple more. So let’s talk about the top image. Apparently HAARP destruction by the military technology not operating at full capacity, yet. They’ve managed to wipe out a big section of road. (Yes, that’s an actual image of 2024 Helene damage.) So the plan must be super secret conspiracy stuff like:
1) Use HAARP (in Alaska) to damage road in rural southern U.S.
2) Get funding to send military out and federal aid to fix the damage.
3) Siphon off a portion of those dollars secretly to improve HAARP.
4) Get people to blame the insurance industry for raising rates and insist that it’s the fault of Democrats currently in office.
5) Use improved HAARP technology to damage more shit later.
At least that’s what I would do. If I was insane. And how someone that specializes in begging for Patreon subscriptions to get sports bets right about half the time is another piece to learn on the haarpsichord. Bad weather messes up games and affordability of attending those games. So when Earth turns into Bradbury’s vision of Venus* it’s gonna be tough for them to work that out.
But actually explaining something even if it’s ludicrous is not the goal of the conspiracy grifter. It’s looking for who is gullible enough to put the replies of HAARP! in the comments. That’s money in the bank with one short word.
*All Summer in a Day
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