The internet, and social media in particular, is famous for one great contribution to society. Our endless ability to distract ourselves about serious issues by arguing…about anything. Important issues are so mind numbingly depressing. My current favorite is how this weird hybrid of democracy and autocracy is forming, where you vote in a dictator. That’s simply not the way it’s done. You just declare yourself a dictator and move on with it. Enjoying all those perks of dealing with unhappy people just itching to overthrow you.
Since misinformation rivals facts in quantity it’s hard for the grifting community to enable one of the key facets to their program. The choice of scapegoat. There is a fatigue that sets in when constantly bombarded with the same old scapegoats.
Send funds to Ukraine? Isn’t that war over yet? Geez, I sent you tax dollars already for that, time to move on. War in the Middle East? Wow, I’ve seen this movie a billion times before. The stock market crashed again? Guess I’m working until I’m seventy five. Without Social Security. These are the kinds of things a normie worried about.
But the poor, under appreciated grifter, providing their valuable service of giving people a small taste of being taken advantage of before something seriously goes wrong, how are they supposed to find fresh and innovative scapegoats? 9/11 was an enormous boost for the grifting content. Post World War II there’s little else that rivals the events in getting people all fired up to mostly agree on a topic. We’re designed to assert our dominance arguing about triviality like whether dogs or cats are cooler. The grifters did try to assert that it never happened at all. And they tried to claim it happened but not by the stated scapegoat. And they claimed it happened, but there are some shady details buried in there.
The answer is simple. The fatigue that we are immersed in is a result of global lack of a new supervillain to hate. The grifters need a new talking point to make up stuff about. An arbitrary scapegoat, one that can be assigned good or bad value to as they see fit. One that is not without precedent. One that you can do gematria on. One that will go great on coffee mugs and t-shirts. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you your distraction from the upcoming election cycle in the US.
Fuck you, Neptune.
When I was growing up, Pluto was a planet. And then this happened:
https://www.loc.gov/everyday-mysteries/astronomy/item/why-is-pluto-no-longer-a-planet/
There was a kerfluffle over how unfair this was, especially to the older crowd that was taught about what planets were in our solar system, including Pluto. It’s not fair to say that the grifters dropped the ball by not getting involved. But what they did screw up is the opportunity to do what they do best. Make an arbitrary scapegoat on a scale beyond the tired old topics limited to this planet. It’s not about whether Pluto is a planet or not. It’s about how fucking evil Neptune is for daring to now be the most distant planet from the some.
An argument can be made for Neptune being cooler than Earth. It is. A lot cooler being so far from the Sun. I double dare you to find a case where someone’s day at the beach was ruined by the gravitational force it exerts on the tides here. And look at how many moons it has, makes our one look pretty silly.
The logical conclusion for the good of the normies and grifters alike is to campaign for the demotion of Neptune to not being a planet. Earth’s dominance in the solar system will assure the normies that we are indeed able to put our differences aside and come together, agreeing on the new villain. The grifters can appease their never ending need to assign arbitrary value and lack of value to a part of a group and ignore its individuality. And everybody hates NASA since it has smart people in it. The only thing I see going wrong is the inevitably terraforming of Neptune to make it an exact duplicate of Earth.
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