Finding employment is tough. A job is not the problem, a decent job that pays a fair wage for a fair amount of output and hours of effort, that’s the real problem. In the workplace part of the pyramid scheme format, you can pretty easily tell if you’re in a gung ho right wing job if you get:
Free coffee. And a turkey at Christmas time. But mostly the coffee. Colonialism and empires fueled on the magic and fully normalized use of a drug. And make no mistake, caffeine is a drug. Maybe we shouldn’t elevate it as a golden elixir so much, but it’s too ingrained into culture that getting rid of it entirely is out of the question.
Like nicotine a caffeine laden plant gets protection from herbivores, so it’s a natural choice for humans to express their defiance. I am cool, because I can do this drug that is slowly causing problems.
If you want to play the office politics game succesfully there’s two top tips. Don’t get involved with someone doing gematria. At least we’re at a point now that it’s just silly and weird. Finding a coworker who has a kid that does gematria a lot, that’s tougher to sleuth out. They’re likely getting flak for not being a good parent (face it, they’re a Karen) and will push back endlessly on acting in a self destructive manner. The better tip - find the person that drinks their coffee the most arrogantly and latch on and ride those coattails to success.
Caffeine is high in antioxidants, and technically fits the definition of a superfood as well as a psychoactive drug. It’s really uncool at your right wing job to mention either. It’s so normalized it’s not exotic enough for superfood status. But it’s largely unrecognized role is the gateway. And that’s not the gateway drug gateway, it’s the arrogance gateway. A liberal lower middle class office employee will drink McDonalds coffee from a styrofoam cup. A right wing fresh out of college graduate hired from nepotism to be a future executive, their drinking coffee is an art form. Standing up, ceramic mug embraced by both hands with their Keurig cup sourced caffeine fix. Spending more time showing off their coolness than actually consuming the beverage.
The effect on the lower classes spreads across the entire spectrum. Some will continue McDonalds styrofoam based consumption. Some will work their way up to Starbucks. And some will embrace the office culture completely. You’re not cool if you don’t latch on to your own favorite K Cup blend and spend time campaigning for its place beside the brew pot.
Your arrogant coffee drinker will also embrace the entire superfood concept. Being willing to absorb lots of student loan debt and a hefty mortgage requires a superiority complex that’s through the roof. Executive material through and through, doing anything in the office politics game to get to the top. The kind of person that makes the styrofoam cup crowd cry out, “What the fuck does she actually do?!?” And if you dare interrupt her diatribe on the benefits of quinoa and goji berries you can expect the claws to come out.
In the period of time before the actual promotion to non productive vice president, you can see that this superfood loving person is bad news by the reaction of upper management. They will do nothing because they’re too busy playing golf, taking vacations and doing anything resembling managing Karen the arrogant coffee drinking toxic narcissist. A few of them will not realize it, but it’s probably within the pages of Project 2025 somewhere. “I’m making far too much money sitting on my passive income stream to care about my employees. The only time I wish to invest is pretending I care and figuring out how many turkeys I can give away at the holidays without ruining my multi million dollar executive bonus.”
And this is where gematria type topics enter into our story. Inept and corrupt management spends an inordinate amount of time pretending they care and knowing full well that long term the house of cards is going to crumble. But why bother caring about their employee’s children getting a decent education when one has passed on beyond the mortal coffee drinking vale? That’s not my problem. Selling out the future of the children is not my concern. I’m certainly not going to call out my political party’s embrace of utter stupidity. Immigrants eating pets, getting votes from gematria using gun toting rednecks, and dismissing the antics of someone like a George Santos who clearly had no business drinking coffee in my office.
What our Karen has learned is the high level art of scapegoating and blame shifting. Spending money on others - bad. Unless I can use it as a political stunt short term. My fortune is going towards donations to government leaders for really important topics. Things like the massive inflation from climate change that we can blame on libtards by talking about gas prices today and ignoring how fossil fuel industry $ and attack on science got us where we are today. Now that’s something worthy of my resources.
A shame that the golf and skiing thing isn’t really going to go well. So drill baby, drill. Drill deep down and keep looking for a new source of caffeine and other superfoods or something else you can label (incorrectly) as a solution to your terrible ideas on economics and capitalism. A world view that only works with unlimited resources and no waste by products. If you do that arrogantly enough, NOBODY will ever figure it out.
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