Tuesday, July 9, 2024

Cherry Picking in Gematria

There are those that say gematria is only cherry picking the evidence.  And I see how that claim is valid, and I don’t totally agree.  For example, the Wikipedia article on cherry picking in the sense of data cherry picking specifically mentions confirmation bias.  So when you want to decode a news event and you end up with a couple keywords and several values to match up you end up with a lot of unused cherries.  Just selecting the best fruit that fits your story and ignoring the rest.  Like always ignoring that GEMATRIA DECODING=135 and COGNITIVE BIAS=135.

But the most admired gematria decoders take it a step further.  It’s not enough to stop at looking at the readily available pile of fruit and sorting through for the juiciest bits, you need to force the issue.  You need your mad scientist smock, some Erlenmeyer flasks and beakers and pipettes, a Tesla coil and a burning desire to force the issue beyond the normal person’s imagination.  Because the best followers aren’t simply typing in words to get numbers, you’ve got to learn to cheat and use gematria as the numbers and words equivalent of Photoshopping.  You need to master telling a story that passes the quick sniff test, has something a little bit different to it for engagement, and doesn’t have anything more to it that can’t be proven directly false.  Your goal, as a budding gematria fantasy technician is to turn your internship, cutting your teeth on sports decodes, into something like a high paying Fox News job.  Anything where it takes the debunkers at least a couple of hours to combat the viral nature of your outrage porn clickbait.

So hypothetically, and since we’re talking about cherry picking let’s use that as our basis, you want to create a non gematria story about picking cherries.  Maybe you have a magic fruit juice that you’re trying to sell to the holistic crowd.  Or maybe you are into gematria grift and you’ve got an angle.  Could be a deep pocket market into online casinos who you want to get them thinking about slot machine cherries.  It could be you’ve got something related to cherries planned for an upcoming playoffs.  Or, my favorite, it could be simply an attempt to throw off the newly courted gematria aficionados.  Cognitively biased newcomers are remarkably forgiving and are willing to forgive hordes of actual video evidence including bigoted comments and death threats by a single “Look, I’m really a nice guy” video.

You don’t even need to use gematria in your video that’s about to be cherry picked by the gullible.  In fact, since made in the car videos are so popular that would be a great ordinary guy start.  You can’t do gematria in your car, the computer’s at home.  It doesn’t matter that you didn’t run the gematria before you tell the story.  You’re in ordinary guy mode, and like computers and phones never work when the aliens or Bigfoot appears you can’t produce solid empirical evidence for some reason.  So just start rambling and try to include actual relevant material to stir up the imaginations of the flock.

Let’s say for example that you made a trip to a cherry orchard to pick cherries.  It doesn’t matter that it’s been brutally hot and your story from painting yourself in a corner from previous episodes includes the pregnant significant other.  She’s part of the “ordinary nice guy story”, so she’s got to be here.  The anecdote is your friend above common sense.  Nobody is ever going to wonder about heat exhaustion affecting a pregnant woman toiling in excessive heat for a couple of hours.

Now the setting can’t be an abandoned orchard.  Lack of pesticides and that pesky heat we mentioned means you need human contact with an actual orchard.  And there needs to be an excuse like a bad horror movie plot point for the availability of cherries.  Because you realized with the choice of setting for the story you messed up and it’s actually later in the season than it should be.  So a single cherry farmer, no hired help because it would make too much sense to harvest on time before the crop goes to waste.  And your farmer is also a good person, inspiring you to be a good person and lets you pick those cherries for free.  You’re so inspired by that generosity, like ripples in a pond from a tiny pebble you share your bounty with your neighbors, and assume that they will in turn pay it forward to someone else somehow.

It’s a quality story as far as most go from what’s found in the gematria community.  You just need the finishing touches.  Most importantly, don’t blow it and overdo the ending.  You need to stick the landing.

Don’t breakdown and do any gematria.

And, naturally being a fabricated anecdote, don’t try to hire any actors for video evidence.  It would make too much sense for a kindly farmer to want his chance to have at least a selfie taken if not be on at least a quickie video clip.  This is why there weren’t even migrant workers harvesting before or while you’re there.  It would make too much sense to have video evidence of them.  If the story includes sharing bowls of cherries with the neighbors who are overjoyed at your generosity it would make too much sense to have video evidence of these interactions.  Even if you want to claim your favorite author, hypothetically let’s assume it’s someone like Vonnegut, inspired you by his love of human interaction you don’t want to blow it by showing actual human interaction.  If the stories fake and it’s too detailed your crisis cherry actors will have too many people that will fuck up their lines.  You want to get this over with ASAP without retakes and editing.  Basically, it’s got to just be you in your car talking about what a nice guy you are when there’s a firm history of excessive narcissism that would have loved to have recorded genuine actual positive reactions that kind of prove the story was what it was.

Don’t worry about the trolls, they only care about your 50% sports picks success rate.  It’s not like someone with actual critical thinking skills is ever going to raise an eyebrow on a tiny little gematria account and figure out how it fits in with the bigger picture of the modern disinformation landscape.  Get this out of your system for whatever reason motivates you for this plausible but highly unlikely narrative (maybe you were just bored, gematria decodes of the same schtick are awfully boring) and get back to congratulating the virgin cherries tomorrow.  And try not to reflect too much on your failure of not having this be your springboard into that Fox News megabucks gig or Alex Jones employee you wanted.  Unfortunately, like cherries, gematria is a little too fruity for that.

https://www.youtube.com/live/_e2ar_YG1Yc?si=N62scuNxD8abvldT

No comments:

Post a Comment