Let’s Start a New Conspiracy

One of the logical fallacies in play with gematria is the appeal to novelty.  Although not brand new it had a period of activity long ago, sort of disappeared, then made a resurgence thanks to Alex Jones era crank magnetism explosion of everything wrong being deemed cool.  Now, the novelty has worn off and things are pretty calm other than some isolated pockets that stagger on from inertia more than being fueled.

Horror movies are a good example of an appeal to novelty.  Combining the age of the film industry with the skyrocketing advances in technology there is a huge stockpile of old material leaving precious little room for novelty and truly innovative and imaginative storytelling.  Much the same way the low hanging fruit of fossil fuels will expire (50 years of oil left!  What you gonna do then gung ho capitalists?!?)  Borrow your story from an old book like Dracula or Frankenstein.  Put something out that’s not done before, your being censored for the at that time being vile and gruesome becomes part of the marketing.  And you can go the Roger Corman way of purposefully going not artsy so much as going with the flow and capitalizing on what’s popular now.  Eventually you get to the point where everything is a retelling of an old story if not even a full blown and acknowledged remake of an old idea.

There’s still some room now to take advantage of Qanon style mind bogglingly stupid self contradictory conspiracy content.  Lack of innovation is the norm and expected.  Therefore, the way to go is to combine existing conspiracies that aren’t ever going away or at least not going away soon.  Just choose two at random and combine them, and that’s exactly what I’ve done.  Except I’ve only chosen one at random, because gematria is my thing and I needed to use that.

The second part of my double feature is the Fort Knox conspiracy about how there really might not be as much of even any gold left there at all.  The financial and grifting hook is pretty obvious in that one.  Good = wealth.  From there it gets twisted in various ways.  The old your government is lying to you to suggestions of alternates to the “gold standard” to escape the financial collapse that’s coming.  Working gematria in to that?  Piece of cake once you realize that the more batshit crazy the final product is the better.  That’s engagement fuel.

It works (or rather doesn’t work) like this.

The elites that rule the world have a huge stockpile of actual gematria decodes that actually work.  It’s obvious that the vast majority of decodes are frivolous BS.  In the early 21st century they released several of the better ones since there was a marketing problem.  The period of inactivity needed to be addressed and stimulated anew.  This attracted the attention of the online grifting community.  Alex and his show and groupies.  The newly created gematria communities of Zach, the Gematrinator, and their loyal followers.  Qanon and Negative 48.  All the people that got social media buzzing with incompatible notions of how exactly gematria is to be used.

But what’s really going to blow people’s minds is that these stories that were released are intentionally only 10%-15% purity.  There’s whole other levels of gematria stories that make more sense.  Your evil rulers are keeping control of these for future releases.  Of course an all powerful evil cabal is going to keep the good stuff in reserve for their use only, not some petty grifters looking for a couple bucks on social media.

There’s these tiers of stories yet to be released:

15%-50%.  50%-75%. 75%-95%. 95%-99%

And that one really big one that makes sense of everything - probably 42 is the result of that Douglas Adams predictive programming holds up.  The only 100% sensical gematria decode.

These are kept in a Bavarian vault, and somewhere along the way some of the less secure lower level stories were stolen.  There was also an imminent alien invasion that required an 85% story as a payoff for them to fly away.  And there’s the annual 15%-50% tribute to the underground reptilians for keeping the hollow earth functioning.

Q actually independently stumbled upon a 12% pure story and needed to be dealt with, so the nightmare of the U.S. 2016, 2020 and 2024 elections ensued.  They never realized how close they got to cracking into Bavarian vault material.  Hubbard has topped out at 1.7%, because seriously?!?  Sports predictions right half the time?  Anybody can do that.  The constant fighting with each other among the grifting community keeps the stories well below 0.4% and saves a lot of expense on other security measures like DEW and space lasers and the giant werewolf ghost time travel project.  You’ve never been truly terrified unless you’ve encountered a giant werewolf ghost from the future that tells you to stop decoding cryptocurrency markets because you were in danger of cracking the magical 0.5% making sense mark.  (Hubbard’s 1.7% is tolerated since his abrasive and antagonistic demeanor counteracts the believability.)

If we get through running out of fossil fuels without an alternative power supply and climate change issues and still have an internet, somebody will in about 100 years think.

Damn, a giant werewolf ghost gematria cult scam.  That’s just what I need.