Gematria Is Poweful And Not To Be Trifled With

And I have 1000% proof, look at these numbers from the....


Aw crap. I screwed that up. I mean, "Gematria Is Not Powerful and To Be Trifled With."


It's in the chapter title in Hubbard's book. It's mentioned in the Kelvinator's introductory video. That pesky word, LANGUAGE. It's not just individual words that are buried within text, it's the whole caboodle and kit. Normally that's referred to as kit and kaboode, but it doesn't make a difference. Sometimes, just as with the post title and the correction, the placement of the word "not" makes a huge difference. That's the way language works. Gematria pretending to be real language yields the same total in all except for some yet undiscovered (pulled from their asses) elision to be added to the 18,410,723,788 they already have. Similarly, "Bob is guilty of desecrating the turtle altar, not Stan.", can change meaning by inverting Bob and Stan. It doesn't have to be the word, "not.". LANGUAGE has lots of ways to alter sentences by placement.


So since Dan brought up Gravity Falls and they use some actual ciphering in here, let's talk about ATBASH. This is a simple substitution, in its most primitive form A is replaced by Z, B by Y, etc.... Durp would never be able to figure it out, since his pattern recognition skills suck. Gromk, having done the daily cryptoquote in the morning stone tablet figured out that and other substitution ciphers can be deciphered. Thus moving on to the comics while Durp was busy getting killed by a pterodactyl that he decoded with the "do gematria without vowels" elision and thought it was an apterodactyl, without wings.


Not the most secure, but as far as solving a puzzle goes challenging enough to be amusing for a couple of minutes without being so impossible you move on to Johnny Hart's B.C. strip right away. It's solvable because even if you aren't sure of the exact quote, THE always equals THE when deciphered. (If you are new to solving cryptoquotes, THE, A, THAT and a few others are common starting points.) Which is why I'm sticking with the term elisions instead of ciphers. Because otherwise to get a single direct translation you need to figure out when 33 = THE, instead of for example, COWS PISS.


It all comes down to the translation which conveniently focuses on the most mind boggling stupid shit nobody could possibly believe. You can translate 113 to mean VERACIOUS instead of DISHONEST. You can translate 33 to mean THE instead of FALSE FLAG or COWS PISS. Get a real cipher and we'll talk about it. Lots of things equal 33, which is part of the reason I chose it for my example. Boy they love talking about false flags and 33., like it's a special and rare jewel. I was hoping that NOT equals 33 in a basic elision. No luck. Close, but not quite. Then I was looking for a naughty word, since Not and Naught sound the same and NAUGHTY =33. FUCK YOU =33, but I'm only allowed to use 33 fbombs during my phone plan billing period. So perhaps I'll settle for spamming the comments section of their blogs and videos with COWS PISS every time I see a 33.