Some Newly Discovered Gematria

While on a dig in the remote regions of urban Detroit my crack team of archaeologists (me, the dog, our Indian Guide River Song* and seven Sherpa winos found what we had quested for.


After a week of inactivity we saw Nad was back in business and he's still into the reverse gematria thingy. So much so that typing the words 'reverse gematria' into a non-reverse gematria calculator yielded numbers that continue to have deep personal meaning to him. No word on what 'reverse gematria' yields in the reverse numbering system. But think about it. That would be just plain fucking stupid.


So after invoking a protection spell by way of the restless spirit of Uncle Barney and using several Molotov Cocktails courtesy of the Sherpas we fought the demon protectors of the treasure trove and rescued the ancient scrolls of Dolphinus that hold the long lost numbering conventions that have not been used yet. We have not finished translating all the material. We will post several here and more as the making this shit up....er translation progresses.


Opposite Gematria.
On/Off High/Low Up/Down etc... Monday becomes Moffday. Screw-up becomes screw-down. Slow boil becomes shigh bvinegar.
Of course things like North Dakota become South Dakota. Therefore all salient facts like cities and landmarks are interchangeable.


Reserve Gematria
Flip two letters. Reverse can become reserve. That's how it got the name. River Song was particularly excited about this and couldn't wait to get back to the reversation to tell everyone.


And Sometimes Y Gematria
Since Y had to go rogue** and couldn't make up its fucking mind whether to be a consonant or vowel it can be substituted by any other letter.


Pig Latin Gematria
The value of '-ay' is added to each word. Yes, things get interesting when the Sometimes Y system is combined. We haven't translated enough so far and haven't verified this exists, but this seems logical.


Leave It To Beaver Gematria.
No film can be referenced other than that show. 


Expansion Gematria
The values of the letters are multiplied together instead of added. News stories on current events and such are only gematrified on words of two or three letters because the numbers get too big. "A chemical spill from a crashed Norfolk Southern train occurred in North Carolina early this morning causing the town of Evansville to be evacuated." becomes A a in the of to be".


Bingo Gematria.
Any of the usual numbers can be substituted for the letters b,i,n,g and o.


*. I'm not going to explain the reference. You can Google it if you want.


** or is that rouge in reverse gematria, or is that blue in opposite because rouge is red and blue is kinda opposite of red? No wonder the Sherpas are drunkards. This shit us confusing.